The Princess and the Warrior
by HopeCrowe
Summary: Cristina and Owen are falling for each other, but the road of love is never easy. Disclaimer: I don't own characters or anything else that has to do with Grey's Anatomy, and I should mention that the title is from the German film of the same name.
1. Pager

Cristina's lips lightly parted away from his; she was flushed and she could feel that her lips were red and swollen. This had been her first kiss since Burke, well the first one she had leaned into…asked for. So worth waiting. There was a fire to it that had been missing with Burke, a desire that went past admiration, possible as deep as...BEEP. Cristina opened her eyes painfully. She was rewarded by the grinning face of Major…Doctor…McBadass, whichever, who happened to be slowly melting her heart. An overly romantic notion for a girl like her, yet applicable nonetheless. Her hand flew to her hip, brushing his hand on the way. Paged by Dr. Sloan.

"I have to…" she began, her voice croaking as it had been out of use, aside from a few moans, for quite a while.

"…get that, I know." He smiled at her again, slightly brushing a particularly wound curl just above her shoulder.

"Yeah…can we…I mean, I will see you…around?" Cristina felt slightly awkward. Her feelings for Owen had been growing steadily stronger and more certain, but she didn't know what to do with them. She felt comfortable with Owen, more comfortable than she had felt with any man…ever, including…well anyway, he had said he was in "the after", but just now he had taken her down to the boiler room and laughed with her and kissed her…oh, had he kissed her.

"Yes…yeah. Maybe sometime…I'm on call tonight, but—"

"On call? When is the last time you've slept?" she asked, a stern concern in her voice. He just laughed it off and lightly placed a hand on her hip with the pager. He lightly played with the hem of her top and she felt a shock as his rough hand gently grazed some skin.

"If you aren't going to answer that page…" he drifted off, barely above a whisper, leaning in close to her face, hovering right by her lips. She could feel his hot breath tickling her lips. She stared at his lips and lightly licked her own, swallowing hard. If she gave in now, there is no way she would make it back upstairs in the next hour. She was a better surgeon than that.

"I…I'm going" she quickly jerked herself away from his warmth and took two large steps toward the door out. Owen laughed.

"You're a good surgeon, Christine." She opened the door and turned with a smile on her face.

"I am…and I'm even better at other things." She closed the door after seeing his slightly jilted, yet amused reaction. Well, it's true, she thought to herself as she jogged up the stairs, readjusting her shirt.


	2. Dreams

Owen lay in the on-call room that night, he smiled as he remembered Cristina's hair blowing wildly in the vent's steam, her giddy laughter…laughter he had brought on. He could still cause happiness, feel it, as he had on the vent. Finally he remembered her taunt as she left the room and something deep in his stomach did a flip.

_"To the right!" someone screamed in cold fear. He ducked just missing some gunfire._

_"I've got him, get out of here" he screamed to the men behind him. "Get back, I've got him." Scattering gravel and rocks shuffled around him. He hoisted the man onto his shoulders…he turned just in time to see a clouded explosion and Owen grunted in pain. Suddenly he felt a soft touch on his shoulder, Cristina was giving him a concerned look._

_"Lay him down, I can help" she said softly._

_"No…what are you doing here? Get away, get back!"_

_"I can help! Just lay him down, I'm a good surgeon…"_

_"That's not enough right now…get away. Go back! GET AWAY!"_

Owen jumped when he saw Cristina sitting on the edge of his bed. He sighed in relief for a moment, processing that it had been a dream. She gave him the same concerned look he had seen in his dream, but now he further processed that she was holding his hand. He tried to steady his breath and looked down at his hand. She was gently stroking it with her thumb. It was really something to have a woman like Cristina Yang softly stroking your hand after a nightmare.

"It's…alright. You were having a dream" she said softly.

"Yeah, yeah I know. Hate those dreams where you're falling, you know" he said, trying to get her to stop watching him with such concern. He didn't want her to worry about more on such a tough day. She moved her hand away and nodded in a way that made him know she hadn't bought it. He realized that she wasn't wearing her scrubs, but a dark red top and jeans.

"Anyway, I had just come in to wake you up. The chief said that you aren't even on call tonight…" Cristina said. "He wants you to go home and sleep." Owen moved to sit up groggily. "You know, you could've just told me…whatever was going on."

"I didn't want you to worry. I just find it easier to sleep in the hospital, when there are people around."

"It didn't seem like you were sleeping too easily" she said, again trying decisively to soften her tone. She still seemed stung.

"I'm sorry I lied about it. I just don't want to unload everything on you at once. The only thing that helps me is being around people, so I do it to help myself sleep." He said, bowing his head between his propped elbows. "Believe it or not, this is me on a good night"

"I…you can unload on me. It's what…people…do for each other." He smiled at her. She took a deep breath and seemed to be thinking heavily about what she was going to say next. "I know you said it was…inappropriate, but if you need somewhere to sleep tonight…to be around people…" she quickly sat up and pulled on her jacket as she quickly mumbled "you could use my bed. It doesn't need to a thing, but if it helps you sleep then…it could be good."

"That's very…"

"You don't have to, it was just a—"

"Just give me five minutes"


	3. Bedtime

Cristina looked surreptitiously to the side and smiled slightly. Owen was walking next to her and it felt nice, natural, for them to be walking to her apartment together.

"Thanks again" he said quietly, he seemed uncomfortable. "If you feel weird about this…I really don't mind going back or…" he drifted off, distracted by the slender hand that had lightly squeezed his in reassurance.

"It's no problem, although…" Cristina's stomach flipped for a moment. Her apartment may have been clean because of Torres, but her room itself was a mess with the exception of her bed.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she pulled open her building door.

"Oh…my room is just a mess. I've only just remembered…I don't have time for cleaning or whatever." He just smiled to himself again. Apparently everything about her seemed to amuse him…which, she guessed, really wasn't a bad reaction. They reached her door and as she fidgeted for her keys, she could feel his breath playing lightly on her shoulder and neck. Did he realize that she couldn't even remember which key opened her apartment when he did that? She finally managed to open the door and she flung her keys on the counter in her usual way.

"Nice place" he said, checking out the kitchen. "Does that burn wood?"

"Yep. Callie did it once, but we're busy women."

"You live with Torres?"

"Yes, but she's asleep" Cristina said, blushing lightly at her qualification. Owen nodded with another classic smirk. "So the bathroom is right through here and this is my room…" she pushed open her door and plopped her bag on the ground. She grabbed a few straw clothes off the bed and threw them in a corner, straightening the comforter slightly. Owen awkwardly placed his coat on the top of her chair and scratched the back of his neck. "So if you just want to…make yourself comfortable, or whatever, I'm going to brush my teeth."

"Thanks…which side is yours?"

Cristina came back from brushing her teeth to a flash of the same green boxers she had seen when staplegunning his wound not so long ago. The memory brought a smile to her face. He had crawled under her covers and turned away from her side, but he promptly rolled over and lay flat on his back.

"Comfortable?" she asked, rubbing some lotion onto her hands and sitting on the edge of her side of the bed.

"Ah, you have no idea. I haven't unpacked my bedding yet and this definitely beats the on-call room bed and…" he looked up at her, she looked back, swinging her feet under the covers. "I like being near you." Why was it he had such a way with simple phrases that made the sound like poetry?

"I hope you can get some sleep…does this light bother you?" she asked, motioning to her bedside lamp.

"No…you aren't sleeping?"

"Not yet. I usually read before bed."

"Alright, well…good night" he said, he pulled himself up and lightly cupped the far side of her face. He kissed her softly on the cheek "sweet dreams." Cristina gave him a small smile. He lay down and turned away from the light. Only after he turned did she let herself watch him. She reveled in the way his shoulders rose and fell slowly, it was kind of beautiful watching such a strong man rest. She turned back to her book, but realized it was futile since she was too intrigued by Owen to read. She turned out the light and heard a small snore escape his lips as he turned back towards her. She slid down into bed and faced him. He had fallen asleep so fast.

"Owen…" she whispered. He didn't stir. "Owen, are you awake?" Still nothing. "Thank you for the vent. But I don't think it's the only place where anything can happen…" She turned away from him and slowly drifted off to sleep, only right before she did she felt something warm wrap around her waist and a warm breath in her hair.


	4. Payback

Owen slowly opened his eyes and turned to his left. Cristina was still asleep, facing towards him with one arm under her head and the other draped toward him. He smiled. He lifted his head lightly to look at the clock, it read 8:30AM. He smile grew as he lowered his head back down to the pillow. He had not slept through the night like this since he had been discharged. Was it just company, or was it _her _company?

Slowly, Owen sat up in bed, moving gingerly in the hopes that he wouldn't wake her. She had been so open, so kind to him…he could tell that she wasn't this way very often and it warmed him inside to know that she had been so…for him. He pulled his jeans back on and buckled his belt, still watching Cristina carefully. Her curls were sprawled unceremoniously across her pillow…her hair, he loved throwing his hands into that hair and kissing her until she forgot about the pain from her past, her father or whatever else had hurt her. He walked out the bedroom door, pulling his sweater back over his head with one last glance at Cristina.

Cristina quickly glanced to her side once she had shut off her blaring alarm at 9AM and felt a cold stab in her chest. Owen was gone and she suddenly felt the loneliness creep back into her heart that had been such a constant companion these past few months. She sighed and pulled herself into the bathroom to wash her face. Maybe Owen hadn't been able to sleep last night, so he left in the middle of the night. Cristina splashed her face with another especially cold handful of water. She walked into the kitchen, with the slight hope that Owen would be standing there…but no luck. Instead, when she went over to the coffee maker she saw a note… "Thank you so much, Cristina. I actually slept night but I had to go back to my apartment to get some things for work. I didn't want to wake you up, but I owe you a cup of coffee. –Owen" She smirked and turned on her coffeemaker and the pang of loneliness ebbed slightly.

That evening, after hours of surgeries, Owen found himself waiting at the hospital entrance. They hadn't made any official plans or even said they would see each other later, but he had hoped that Cristina would meet him here…from then on he didn't know what to expect. Unloading himself onto a chair and leaning his head onto his propped hand he found himself dozing off…

_"Major Hunt, we've got the rest, there's just one left out twenty paces to the left" the lieutenant called to him, running back to him with a man being carried between him and another soldier._

_"I'm on it. Get back to the team, I'll be back with him!" He ran over to him and checked for a pulse. It was present but weak. Hoisting the solider in a fireman lift, Owen slowly turned to run back to his unit._

_"To the right!" the voice called. A blast went off and Owen fell over, trying to fall as to protect the man he carried._

_"He's in distress, we need to help him now!" it was Cristina, crouching next to him and touching his arm gently, something soft in the chaos around him._

_"You can't be here! Get back where it's safe, I can take care of this!"_

_"Let me help, Owen!" she said loudly, looking him intently in the eye. "Let me—"_

"Are you here for me?" His head snapped up, readjusting to the fact that he had fallen asleep in the hospital chairs.

"What?..." he asked, somewhat groggily and disoriented.

"Oh…I just…" Cristina seemed taken aback and somewhat embarrassed, but recovered. She had thought he was going to get her that coffee he claimed to owe her…apparently not. "I was just heading out, I figured I would say hi. Anyway, goodnight, Dr. Hunt." Maybe she was reading into everything. After all, she had pushed herself onto him last night…whatever. Slightly crestfallen, she started to continue towards the exit.

"Wait, Dr. Ya—…Cristina!" he called after her, quickly grabbing his coat and catching up with her. "Would you let me pay you back for the good night's sleep?" he smiled at her and lightly grabbed her hand. "Can I buy you dessert?"

"That sounds nice" she said smiling up at him. They started walking into the parking lot. As they did, she carefully took a deep breath and swallowed. She felt bold. "There's a nice patisserie by my apartment." Owen stopped and looked at her for a moment, his deep blue eyes penetrating her. She felt her cheeks warming at the insinuation.

"I'm sold" he said. After a nice dessert, and a bottle and a half of red wine polished off, Cristina was feeling pleasantly warm. Owen had only had two glasses, but Cristina had been laughing and talking so much that she had somehow not realized how quickly she was refilling her glass. But she was so happy right now…a kind of happy that she wasn't sure she could ever get to feel again since…Burke had left her. Despite his best efforts, she was going to be happy and be with someone that would want her for who she was. She looked up at Owen and gave him an open-mouthed smile.

"Someone had a little too much wine?" he smiled back at her, putting his arm around her waist to keep her stable. She put a finger on his shirt by his ribcage and played with the material of his shirt.

"You know…I like this material, it's soft…and you're soft. I mean, you're not _soft_ but…you're gentle…but…you're also rough. And…I like you. You made me…feel something…I haven't felt anything like…" she sighed. Owen put a hand on her cheek and stroked it lightly.

"You're very cute when you're drunk" this brought another sloppy smile to her face "and it's time to go home now." The warmth of the alcohol rose to a boil at the thought of a slightly buzzed Owen Hunt coming back to her apartment.


	5. Confessions

They reached the door to her apartment and the hallway was spinning slightly as she padded her pockets to find her keys. She furrowed her brow in deep concentration, but the alcohol in her system was muddling everything and the effects were multiplied by the heat she could feel coming from Owen's body. Callie was on call tonight…they would be alone in her apartment…and drunk. This was good…now if only she could find her keys.

"Let me…" he said, leaning closer to her. He looked down at her and slowly his fingers slid lightly into her jeans pocket. She felt a jolt as she felt the pressure of his fingers on her upper thigh through the thin lining of her pocket. "Hmm…not there." He slowly pulled them out and put them in the other pocket. Nothing. Cristina was just standing there, panting lightly and staring into his face as he gave her what could only be considered a very sexy frisking. He had a hand in each back pocket when she finally realized that the keys were in her purse. She pulled them out and he pulled his hands out of her pockets as she turned to put the key in the door, yet his hands had hovered and were now slung on her hips. She felt a familiar warm by her ear and tried desperately to put in the key.

Finally the door swung open and Cristina tugged him into the room. Without another thought she threw her keys and purse onto the table and pulled his face into hers. He made a small noise of pleasure and quickly cupped her face in his hands. She pulled off her jacket and flung it to the side. Wrapping her arms around his neck , she pushed her open mouth even closer to his. His mouth was ravaging her hungrily and one hand had travelled from her face to under her shirt and up past the small of her back. He slowly pulled back from her and looked into her eyes. Oh my, those eyes…you could cut diamonds with that stare.

"I…I think" he began, panting slightly "that you need some water…" Cristina, still drunk, was frustrated and given the lack of filter, was probably showing it on her face quite clearly.

"Oh great, yes, water is _exactly_ what I need" she said, storming over to the kitchen loudly. Owen had a tiny smirk on his face that was infuriating her at the moment…while also making her want him that much more. "I need _water_ because I haven't had _water_ in six months…" This time Owen outright laughed, she really was cute…and hilarious, when drunk. Owen took the glass from her and filled it for her. She tried to steady herself but was unable. He grinned and just lightly tipped the glass toward her mouth. She took a small sip and he smiled at her. Then her eyes narrowed at him. "You know, if you're not going to…whatever…you don't get to look at me like that"

"Like what?"

"Like…like you can see through me or something. No, none of those looks until…until you follow through"

"Oh I see" he said, tipping the glass back for another sip. "You wanted to have sex tonight" Cristina spit out and choked on a bit of water. Owen tried very hard not to laugh.

"Well, maybe I did" she looked down "…do" she corrected, trying to regain some of her dignity. She looked into his eyes seriously, through the dizziness of the alcohol. "It's been a long time…" Now Owen found himself reddening slightly at her honest admission. He had expected her to deny his insinuation.

"What was six months ago?" he asked her, wearing a face similar to that which he had when she mentioned her father dying. Cristina sighed and took the glass, taking a sip for herself.

"My before" she said sighing and plopping herself onto the couch in the living room. He came and sat on the couch by her feet. He slowly took her shoes off and gave them a gentle rub, urging her to continue.

"You…were with someone?"

"He was…yes, I was with someone" Cristina chewed on her lower lip and looked to her side. How do you tell someone that you were left on your wedding day? "And I worked with him…we were together for a few years and then one our wedding day…" she looked up at Owen, who had suddenly stopped moving his hands. "He left me." Owen looked uncomfortable, then focused on her feet again.

"That…that must have been very hard" Cristina laughed drily, all this Burke talk was seriously killing her buzz. She took another sip of water.

"Yes…yeah. But it was also a relief. I felt like he was changing me…he might have loved me, but he didn't want to marry _me_…he wanted me to become someone he could marry….if that makes any sense"

"More than you know" Owen said. Suddenly Cristina felt something reach behind her back and pull her up from the couch. Owen was an inch from her face. "He made the mistake of his life" Cristina felt a smile crawl onto her lips.

"Well…he did let someone sew a towel into a patient once—"

"No…no jokes right now." He was still holding her up, very close to his face and gave her a look so deep that Cristina thought he might be trying to communicate telepathically. "You need to know that, _really_ know that. Any man would be all too lucky to marry _you_" He leaned forward and gentle placed his lips on hers, as if sealing the happy thought inside of her. She wrapped an arm around his back and another behind his neck. This time Cristina pulled back and looked at him.

"If you want to wait, I will"

"Don't think that I don't want to, because I really, _really_ do." He said this last part with a depth in his voice that made Cristina shiver. "But…I'm still not quite there…and I don't want to mess this up with you." Cristina kissed him again, she thought she might literally lose her lips the way Owen was treating them, and there was a burn in his kiss that was making her legs go numb. He gave a moan muffled by her mouth and pulled himself off. "You're a hard woman to resist, Cristina"

"Hm" she shrugged at him playfully, "all part of my charm." He nodded in agreement. "Left side is open, if you want it." Hopping into bed, Cristina turned away from him, hoping to feel his breath by her ear again. Instead she felt a hand slither up from her thigh and nestle itself right by her bellybutton. After having closed her eyes for a few minutes, she felt his face nuzzle in her hair, and _finally_ she was starting to believe that it _was _Burke's loss after all, and her secret hope for a happy ending was still very alive, and only inches away.


	6. Person

Cristina woke up the next morning, hoping that she would not turn to face another half empty bed. She turned and smiled at Owen, still sleeping. She felt her eyes soften as she watched him breathing slowly in the light of a few sunbeams from her window. She bit back a huge grin and the memory of last night; she had told him about Burke and he hadn't run away, he had made her feel like the good one. She hadn't deserved what Burke had dealt her. But now, she couldn't help but be grateful to Burke for leaving her…she would have married him that day, so if he hadn't left her then she would never be able to have these special moments with Owen.

As peaceful as he looked, she could not resist touching him. She lightly played with the now tossed red hair and she placed a very tender kiss on his right cheek. For a moment she felt a swooping sensation in her stomach and wanted to grab him up in arms and wrap her legs around him so neither of them would ever feel any more pain or ever be separated. There was a soft half-snore and Owen opened his eyes, blinking a few times to adjust to the light.

"Good morning" she said, smiling at him. She was flat on her back, but turned her face to him.

"I'm surprised it is a good morning for you, given how much you drank last night" he chuckled. He was so light, so gentle, and yet he had seen things that Cristina would never see or understand. It was this lightness in spite of the dark that drew her to him; he was doing everything he could to get past the dark and twisty. He was bright and twisty…kindness with a helping of complicated.

"Someone forced me to drink water last night…otherwise I would have my head in a toilet instead of on this pillow…near you"

"Well thank goodness for that someone, then" He put an arm around her and pulled her closer to his body. "I want to cook for you tonight"

"Are you already sick of takeout?" He laughed and shook his head.

"For a doctor, you don't eat very well. Anyway, that's not why…I just want to…to take care of you for once"

"That's very…sweet" she said, playing with the hem of his shirt. "But you don't need to cook for me"

"Oh just shut up and let me cook you something, dammit" he said roughly through a smile. "You might be tough, but you don't have to fight me on everything"

"Alright, well" she looked away from him shyly. "It's just that Torres will be around tomorrow night and…if you…"

"We can go to my place. It's about time I had you over anyway. Although I haven't quite unpacked since I've been far too busy kissing you." He gave her a light kiss, as if to prove it.

"Well as long as that's what is keeping you from it, I hope you never unpack" she said, kissing him deeper and rolling on top of him.

"You've got it" he laughed, whipping her over and pinning her down underneath him.

****

"Cristina. Cristina!" Meredith was waving a hand in front of Cristina's face at the front desk. Cristina shook her head and looked up at her. She had been thinking about the way Owen's hips had dug into her in that morning's prolonged make out session. She felt like a giddy fourteen year old who was doing everything but and still getting hot over it. "Okay, I get that we're fighting, but you can't just ignore me at work"

"Oh that wasn't—" Cristina began, honestly distracted.

"Whatever, here are the files on Mr. Mason" Meredith tried to be stoic and stood there, Cristina just rose an eyebrow. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm…look, Meredith, I'm still upset that I lost the solo surgery. Do you understand that?"

"Yes…and I don't blame you, but it's not my fault!"

"If it is or if it isn't, I lost it…and then I had to _pick_ who did it instead. I tried to be objective and I had to choose Evil Spawn to replace me because he made the best case. No matter how mad I am at you, Evil Spawn is Evil Spawn."

"Cristina…I know it must have been hard. It did hurt me that you chose Alex…but it's whatever, I'm sorry I didn't stand up for you. I was too shocked when I found out that you had known about the interns and hadn't told me…and I was worried about Sadie…I just didn't know what to say"

"Yeah…we don't need to do the thing where we cry and talk and talk and talk some more about how we're sorry and all that. You're my person and we're okay" Meredith smiled and her arms wrapped around Cristina lightly. After first making a face, Cristina returned the hug. They broke apart and Meredith grabbed her charts, about to walk off when Cristina grabbed her by the wrist of her coat. "Um…one more thing" she said very quietly, looking around them to make sure no one was within earshot.

"What?"

"The thing…with McBadAss…definitely not a stupid nothing" Meredith's eyes widened and then squinted as she gave her a knowing grin. "Oh don't give me the face"

"Oh you're getting the face, alright. Is he good? He looks like he'd be good…"

"It's not...uh" Cristina lowered her voice even more and whispered "we're taking it slow" grimacing slightly as she said it. Meredith suddenly looked more serious.

"So you aren't just scratching the itch?" Cristina shook her head slowly. Meredith gave her an even bigger smile.

"Hardly. If anything the itch is stronger…but it's nice. He's…nice"

"I'm happy for you" Meredith said, honestly. "We're really leaning into the fear, aren't we?"


	7. Death

"Time of death…" Owen started, pulling his stethoscope out of his ears roughly and back around his neck. "12:18" there was a bite to his tone that startled Dr. Stevens and two of her interns. Owen stormed out of the ER and back down the hallway. Figures, first military man he has to treat and they die on the table…before seeing their family. Just his luck. Just when he was starting to bounce back. He barged into the men's bathroom and splashed cool water on his face to calm down. He felt the pangs of sadness and guilt he had tried to suppress the past few weeks; they were stabbing him all the stronger now. He felt alone.

Cristina had just finished the post-op reports of her patient for the day and was on her way to deliver them when Owen walked up beside her at the desk.

"Dr. Yang" he started; it was professional address but with a tone that betrayed him.

"Dr. Hunt" she said, keeping her head down on her charts. She felt him look around to see if they were clear. Something felt off…not that she had known him anywhere near long enough to sense this kind of thing, but his body was giving off a strange vibe. Instead of the usual sexual tension she felt, it was just plain tension. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah I'm…no. I mean…can I see you in the on-call room?" he asked her in barely a whisper, pretending to be flipping through a chart.

"I…yes." Her heart raced; _on-call room_? Did that mean what she thought it meant? Or rather…what it meant when everyone else went to the on-call room…but he didn't seem like the type. Maybe she had been wrong about the sexual tension…then again, maybe not.

They went their separate ways and then in a few minutes Cristina took the long route to the on-call room to see Owen sitting on the bed. His head was bowed and he appeared to be deep in thought.

"Owen?" she asked lightly. No answer. She walked over and considered placing a hand on him. She went back and forth and finally lightly placed a hand on his shoulder. She could feel that he was tense. His head snapped up and expression softened when he saw her.

"Sorry…I must have…dozed off"

"Yeah…" Cristina was suddenly worried about him again. With Burke, she had grown accustomed to being the stubborn one who he would try to take care of, but she felt a pull to nurture Owen. It felt nice to be needed. "Is everything…alright?" Her heart raced again, remembering that they were alone. In the on-call room. _The_ on-call room. He stood up and looked at her.

"I just wanted …" he took a breath and cleared his throat. "It's been a very…" he stopped and shook his head at the ground, frustrated with himself for being unable to communicate anything. He took a deep breath and before he said anything else, Cristina found herself gently slipping her arms around him and stroking his back lightly. She wasn't sure what made her do it, hugs were not her thing. But she felt like that was what he needed. She then backed away and put a hand on her hip.

"You tell anyone that I voluntarily hugged you…I will slowly slice off your tongue" she said in her playfully harsh Cristina tone, then giving him a quick smile.

"I don't believe you" Owen said simply, shrugging and throwing his white coat back over his scrubs.

"Oh trust me, I can be a liar, but I always make good on my threats, just ask around"

"Well, considering you're the best surgical resident in your class, I would peg you to be smarter…" she seemed slightly taken aback, to which he added "let's just say you don't want to be cutting out my tongue just yet." Cristina smirked and, through sheer determination, kept herself from turning pink. He gave her a scorching look and then looked away and sat back on the edge of the bed, as if something had just caught up with him. "Anyway…I had a rough case…an army man on leave, died on the table. He was on his way home to family."

"Did you make a mistake?"

"Not that I can think of. I've replayed it several times in my head…it was just, their time…I guess"

"The deaths…they always sting" Cristina felt like she was saying all the wrong things. She knew it was because she was holding herself back, afraid to say the wrong thing and upset him. She looked at him, head bowed down in guilt. Whatever, if you can't speak your mind with someone, they aren't worth the company. "Sometimes…" she started, sitting next to him "sometimes life just feels like an abusive spouse you can't manage to let go of." Owen smiled, maybe that was a strange reaction to such a pessimistic statement. He suddenly felt lighter. They hadn't talked that much about it, but just mentioning that it had been a hard day…being able to share that burden, to commiserate, made him feel relieved. He had used his words, at least a few; now for a few more.

"But sometimes…" he brushed her hand and lightly curled his fingers in between hers "it's someone beautiful that you think you're falling for…"


	8. Wait

Cristina was pulling on her white coat again while Owen was putting his charts back in order and whipping his stethoscope around his neck.

"So…how is 7 for dinner?"

"You're sure you feel up for cooking tonight?" Cristina asked, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms.

"Yeah…cooking's not a big deal for me…its cathartic in a lot of ways"

"You really are weird" Cristina said, pushing off the wall and extending a hand to open the door. Owen lightly pushed her against the door before she could.

"Meet me at 7 by the entrance" Cristina looked up at him for a second and debated whether or not to kiss him. She definitely wanted to, that was for sure. But if she started, would they be able to stop? What if someone walked in? What if—

Cutting off her own train of thought, she threw her face up at Owen. He inhaled her lips and dug a hand into her hair while the other tickled her back again. Their mouths moving furiously, Cristina felt intoxicated. Suddenly she forgot she was in a dingy on-call room and just wanted him, regardless. One hand behind his neck, her other hand travelled to the drawstring of his navy blue scrub pants. Owen pulled a hand away from her back and firmly grabbed her eager hand. He pinned it up above her head. She gasped, in an indignant yet heated tone. In defiance yet also a small hope that the same would happen, her free hand repeated the mission. Both her hands now pinned firmly against the door, Cristina silently begged Owen to take her. His powerful arms slowly led her arms down to her sides, yet still maintaining their firm grip.

"We can't…" he panted "not yet." Cristina thought he was talking to her at first, but it became apparent that he was trying to convince himself. She felt the force in his arms weakening, he was giving in. In her haze, she realized that she didn't want it to happen like this. He had wanted to wait until he was whole…and healed, or whatever. She could respect that...she said she would try. For now, it was enough for her ego to know that he was wavering.

"You're right" she finally said, turning her head away from him.

"I'm…what?" he took a step back and shook his head. "Oh…yeah, it's not…I'm not in the right place yet. Especially today…but…oh god, trust me when I tell you it is coming soon…this is incentive, if anything, for me to straighten things out. And when I do…" Cristina shivered at the depth and heat in his voice. She didn't want him to finish; she wanted to imagine all the ideas he had planned for her…how it would feel when he finally touched her…how she would dig her fingertips into his back—no, can't get too hot and bothered now. She might just give in right then.

"Yes, well…" Cristina removed her wrists from Owen's grip and cleared her throat. "7 is great. See you then." Cristina slipped out of the on-call room, leaving behind a very hot and bothered Dr. Hunt.

"Yang, nice hair" Cristina had turned to her left only to pass Callie in the hallway.

"I…oh, you know, I'm not McDreamy, I don't do hair products"

"Uh huhh…" Callie bit down on a grin. "You know, believe it or not, you're not as smooth as you think"

"I am, actually, totally smooth" Cristina said, unconsciously trying to fix her hair casually and praying that Owen would stay in the on-call room just a few more minutes.

"So there _is _something, or rather someone, you need to be smooth about!"

"I'm leaving now…I have people to cut and stitch and fix…" Callie laughed.

"Yang, I'm so on to you."

"Lives to save!" Cristina called back as she turned the corner. Minutes later Callie spotted Dr. Hunt walking out of the on-call room looking all too flustered, Callie laughed to herself and went back to her charts.

Cristina scoped the exit before heading towards Owen. She gave him a look as he followed a few feet behind her.

"No one is around, Cristina…" Owen said with a laugh. "We can walk next to each other"

"Callie knows!"

"Dr. Torres…your roommate?"

"Yes, she knows, I'm sure of it" Owen let out an audible groan. Callie Torres, while a gifted surgeon, also seemed to be fond of the rumor mill. "I know, not good…which car is yours?" She secretly bet to herself that he drove a manual.

"Black one, over there" He flash-unlocked the doors and they both slid in. Cristina smiled as she looked down to her left. She was right. "You like the leather?"

"Yes…it's nice. Seat warmers, very comfortable"

"Now, off to Chez Hunt" he said, starting the ignition. He placed a hand behind her neck support as he turned to back out and she smiled again. He just had a way with her; he made her think about doing these small things for the rest of their lives. She mentally smacked herself—they hadn't even really gone on an official date and definitely hadn't passed second base yet, hardly time to be thinking about these things.

After a fifteen minute ride, they pulled into a parking garage and rode the elevator up. They didn't say anything in the elevator and Cristina laughed to herself about how Mer would complain about her awkward elevator rides with McDreamy. Elevators were definitely not that bad, particularly when there was an attractive man looking at you in a way that made you already feel naked.

"Here we are" he finally said, in front of door 512. "It's not terribly clean, but at least I've unpacked." The first thing Cristina noticed was that it smelled like his cologne, which was a definite plus. Walking into the apartment felt like walking further into him…his life. "Not offended by a mess, are you?"

"Trust me, I have the patent on mess" they placed their jackets on a bar stool and Owen led her in through the back hallway.

"Then let me show you the rest."


	9. Dinner

He had taken her hand and paused halfway through the hallway and flipped on the bathroom light.

"Um, this is the bathroom" he said, rather unnecessarily. She felt as though he was nervous, the thought made her stomach do a flip.

"Oh right, so the bathroom is the one with the toilet…" she mocked. He just flashed a grin and continued to the end of the hallway where he turned on the bedroom light. The room was very…him. Nothing fancy, just a desk with some papers, a few pictures, and a bed that hadn't been fixed. "This place is very you"

"Mmm…is that good or bad?" he asked playfully, turning the light back off as they headed back into the kitchen. Cristina slid her hand around his waist in response.

"So what're you making?"

"I hope red meat's okay…" Cristina had a flashback to her first date with Burke when he had been shocked and slightly repulsed to find out she was a red meat eater.

"Better than okay" she responded.

"Good, then it's beef stroganoff" he pulled a packet of meet out of the fridge. "Care to scrub in, ?" She slid off the stool and got a knife to help him thinly slice up the meat. Soon enough they just had to let the mixture on the stove simmer for a little while. They were both sipping their wine and Cristina had just pulled herself up into a bar stool. She was still wearing her jeans and her long-sleeve brown shirt. Owen was also in jeans, but wearing an Army sweatshirt over his white undershirt. When he bent down to check on the toasting bread in the oven, Cristina took an abnormally large gulp of wine to keep herself distracted from the view, unfortunately it did not help. She desperately wanted him to take off his sweatshirt…

"You know, I really don't know how you don't get so hot near the oven with that sweatshirt on" part of her hoped she was being subtle, part of her _wanted_ to sound suggestive.

"Well, when you've gone to Iraq so many times, it's hard to be hot anywhere else…" he looked up at her and seemed to read something on her face. He checked back on the pot and laughed. "But, you know, the stove is making it pretty stuffy in here." He pulled his sweatshirt up over his head and Cristina's eyes greedily soaked in how the paper thin white shirt clung to him…

"Just wanted you to be comfortable" she said, smirking into her wine glass. Owen walked over to her and slid himself between her legs, weaving his hands behind her waist.

"Well, now I'm much more comfortable" he pulled her closer and brushed her neck with a kiss that made her laugh from the tickle of his goatee. He was working hard on her neck and collarbone when the beeping of the stove timer went off. He tore himself away and Cristina let out an audible sigh. If there was a God, they definitely hated her…or wanted her to rediscover the beauty of foreplay. Well, foreplay does imply that something will come after. The waiting was becoming too much to bear.

"So, how do you plan on fixing your…" she wasn't sure what to call it "situation?"

"I'm not sure…I think I might start with Shepherd…I need help sleep and he might have advice, I mean, he's one of the best neurosurgeons anywhere. I'm actually surprised he's in Seattle, I'd expect him to be somewhere like New York." Cristina let out a derisive laugh.

"Well, he was…before." Owen turned around, intrigued. "His wife cheated on him, with Mark Sloan…the plastics guy"

"Wow…but they're so close. At times I thought they were a couple." Cristina laughed at this. A man who liked mocking the McBoys was definitely a keeper.

"I'm not sure you're wrong…well, I guess he got over it. Anyway, he just picked up and came here a few years ago, my first intern year actually…then he and Meredith met and a little angsty twisted love has existed there ever since"

"Hmm…Seattle Grace is definitely not number twelve when it comes to drama"

"Tell me about it…" Cristina shook her head, trying to remember how they got on the subject. "So you're going to see Shepherd…I hope that works out." She bit her lip. Cristina suddenly wished that she could take back the longing in her voice. It made her sound desperate…Cristina Yang was never desperate.

"Yeah…me too" she was pleased to hear the same amount of longing in his voice. "I'm sorry I'm making you wait"

"No, no…you do what you have to do. I wouldn't want us to…do anything and have you regret it. I'm just…inpatient because…" she shook her head slightly and decided to be bold again. "You're very attractive…" he kissed the right side of her neck "and I really like you…" he kissed the left side of her neck "and…I have this funny feeling that you are great in bed."

"Funny feelings are always right" he said huskily. He kissed her hungrily and put a hand up the back of her shirt while the other held her steady on the stool from behind. He quickly pulled himself away and went to grab two plates. "I'm going to see Shepherd tomorrow…any more of this, and I'm going to give in." Cristina gave a satisfied smile.


	10. Control

"Dr. Shepherd, can I talk to you for a minute?" Owen had peaked his head into the scan room. Derek looked up and laughed.

"My ears must deceive me, another consult for Dr. Hunt?" Owen laughed uncomfortably and walked in. "Oh, I'll be out in one a minute"

"Actually…" Owen rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "This consult is for me…personally"

"Oh…I see" Derek swiveled away from the screen and motioned for Owen to have a seat. "What's the problem?"

"Well…as you well know" Owen started with a bit of a bite in his voice, seeing as Derek took any chance possible to mock his military background "I just got back from Iraq, and I'm…having some trouble sleeping...and you know, images from war and what not in my head sometimes…" Derek nodded, a somewhat guilty look in his face.

"Well, that sounds more like a psych problem…I can only work with a physical injury. I can get you the numbers of some great therapists…"

"No…I mean, I'm not really into psych" Owen sighed. He wasn't sure what he had expected Derek to say, except to give him a psych consult.

"Well, from my experience, it just helps to do what relaxes you…golf or fish or…find some company that calms you down, keeps you happy"

"Well, I…I already have company that…is sort of the problem. I mean, I'm worried about controlling myself, essentially. About my head being in the right place" Derek nodded knowingly and a smile spread on his face.

"You have a girlfriend?"

"Well kind of…yes…we're not…we haven't figure it all out…yet"

"Do I know her?"

"Dr. Shepherd…"

"Oh right, right…anyway. Relax yourself and actually…" Derek swiveled back around to his computer screen. "It might help you to talk through some things with…whoever it is you're seeing. Have you slept at all in the past few weeks?"

"Rarely…the only time I can really sleep is when I'm with her…"

"Then I suggest more sleepovers"

"But…it makes it more difficult to…control things"

"Dr. Hunt" Derek began, "I've seen you work. The fact that you care so much about doing it, probably means you're going to be fine. I would get things started, if you feel things getting out of control, just stop…" Owen just nodded. This whole situation was awkward…getting sex advice from the guy with the crazy relationship issues in his past?

"Thanks, Dr. Shepherd"

"She's a lucky woman"

"You really are a nosy bastard" Owen said, they both chuckled and he turned and left the room. Maybe he should see how things go.

Owen reached for the last slice of pizza on the table. Cristina was wrapped up in a blanket on the couch with him, watching some gory show on HBO.

"You really do have an unnatural attraction to blood…" he said, shaking his head as he threw the crust onto his plate on the table.

"Sometimes I dream about the kinds of surgeries I could have done in ancient Rome…those people were brutal…" she sighed lovingly "beautiful."

"So I talked to Shepherd today" she immediately snapped out of her gory Roman reverie. Cristina fought very consciously not to move and steadied her voice.

"What'd he say?"

"He…uh…said I should do things that relax me"

"Oh. That's…good, I guess" Cristina fell flat. Sure Owen's problem wasn't surgical, but she had hoped McHairProducts would have more to give him than that.

"He also mentioned that maybe…trying things out wouldn't be so bad" Cristina could tell Owen was also trying to steady himself. "Just, you know, if I feel things are getting out of control…just to…to stop" Cristina nodded against Owen's shoulder and swallowed hard. She looked up at him and felt a degree of heat that had never been there before.

"Are you going to take his advice?" her voice was huskier than she intended, but now that there was a legitimate possibility of this going somewhere, she couldn't control herself.

As if in response to her question, Owen pushed himself forward and pulled her face into his. His kiss was ferocious and it was all Cristina could do breathe and keep from melting into him. She pulled herself up higher and while one hand steadied itself behind on the nape of his neck, the other combed itself through his red hair. He grabbed her from underneath her rear and got up from the couch. She slowly slid down as they entered the bedroom and left a path of shed clothing on their way. That night, instead of the horrible ambush replaying in his mind, all he saw or touched or thought of was Cristina. He did lose control that night, but only in ways he had intended.


	11. Cure

_"Cristina, please, get out of here…"_

_"No, I'm helping you with this man. You can't do this alone!"_

_"I…I can't think with you here, just leave. Get back to where it's safe!"_

_"Fine, good luck repairing that bleed by yourself" the sting in her voice made his stomach drop. _

_"Wait…Cristina, I can use your help" Her eyes lit up and her hands quickly went to work, anticipating his every need with the patient. Owen carried the man over his shoulder and Cristina was right next to him, breathing hard to keep up. They had delivered the man to the air lift and reached back to based safely. Owen let out a deep sigh and felt something on his thigh._

"Good morning…" Cristina sighed after Owen's eyes fluttered open, looking down at his thigh to see her slender hand stroking it.

"Indeed" he said, scooting himself closer to her. She flipped to turn herself away from him and his arms and leg wrapped around her. "I slept wonderfully and for once my dreams didn't end with someone blowing up…"

"It's ironic, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"All this time, we've been fighting the sex...and by we, I mean you" she smiled "and in the end it turned out to be the cure you were looking for"

"I guess it is ironic…" Owen agreed. "All that struggle…"

"Well, as good as last night was, I must say…the build-up was pretty hot" He laughed lightly by her ear, tickling her. He nuzzled his face into her neck.

"You were in my dream…"

"Owen, that wasn't a dream, we really did have hot sweaty sex last night" he laughed. It felt so good for her to be able to talk about sex fondly and more immediately now, instead of with nostalgia and a hint of desperation. "What was I doing?"

"Well, I was back in the desert…and I was starting to patch a man up after the rest of my team was…attacked. And you came to help me…I tried to fight you off, but I finally let you help…and we saved him"

"Was I in camo?" she asked playfully.

"Oh yes…and you looked damn fine" Cristina struggled hard to form words, but what Owen was doing to her ear was making it hard to even breathe.

"Even in your dreams I'm a great surgeon, your sub-conscious knows me well."

"Speaking of surgeons, I've got to be in soon." Cristina groaned, so did she. She couldn't remember the last time she would have rather stayed in bed than perform surgeries.

"The only thing you've got to be _in..._" she started, suggestively, rising an eyebrow. Owen jumped out of bed and walked toward the shower.

"Well…as long as we are in the _process_ of getting ready…" he inclined his head toward the shower and Cristina jumped up to join him. This was the life.

Cristina had just left the locker room and headed in to get her charts when she bumped into Callie.

"Oh, sorry…" Cristina said with a smile, reaching over to grab her charts. Callie furrowed her eyebrow and then gently raised one.

"So you didn't come to the apartment last night" Callie stated.

"Nope…"

"And yet you are wearing different clothes, which implies that you planned for that…"

"Mmhmm" Cristina tried to focus on her paperwork, but looked around to see that they were clear and then just looked up at Callie.

"You totally tapped army man! Good for you, girl. Good. For. You." Cristina looked up at her with a small crooked smile. "Don't worry, you're in the vault. But just tell me…" Callie came close to Cristina's ear and spoke through her teeth "is he good? Because he looks like he'd be good…really good." Cristina cocked her head to the side as if the question was far too juvenile for her to acknowledge but then whispered.

"There are no words…" They laughed and Callie went on her way.


	12. Turn

Cristina was having a brilliant day. Not only had she finally hit a homerun with Owen—several homeruns, actually, she grinned to herself—but she had gotten to scrub in on a piggyback surgery with Dr. Dixon, who seemed to have taken a liking to her. Finally a Cardio God that would teach her! While filling out her post-op reports, a frazzled Dr. Bailey strode by and told Cristina she had a new patient that needed to be checked in on.

She strode into the room where an old man, in his sixties according to her papers, was in for cancer treatments. Her interns followed her in and a woman who looked about Cristina's age was typing frantically into her Blackberry. Cristina cleared her throat.

"I'm Dr. Yang, I'll be prepping you for surgery tomorrow"

"Hello, doctor" the man said pleasantly. Cristina nodded at him. "This is my daughter, Charlotte" The woman tore her eyes away from her phone and gave Cristina a very quick, though pure, smile.

"Someone tell me about Mr. Chamberlain's case" Cristina said harshly, had to keep the interns on their toes.

"Walter Chamberlain, 63—"

"Not you, Three— Four-Point-Two!"

"Y-yes…Walter Chamberlain, 63. Admitted to have aggressive cancer treatments for a tumor in his stomach" Cristina spent a few minutes barking at the interns to explain the treatment plan to Mr. Chamberlain and then flipped through the paperwork.

"Well, if you need anything, feel free to ask for a nurse, if you have any questions feel free to ask the nurses to ask a doctor, otherwise I'll be in later to check back on you. " Cristina left the room and her interns stumbled after her. "Two and Four-Point-Two…go to the clinic, you're vacant stares are giving me a headache. Three, Grey needs another intern in the pit."

"M-Meredith needs an…can I just go to the clinic instead?" Cristina slowly turned her head to face her. Apparently this look spoke volumes, "Oh, sorry I'm…pit, here I come!" Three was so weird.

Cristina swung by the Chamberlain's hospital room again later that afternoon to check on Mr. Chamberlain's vitals and make sure that everything would check out for treatment tomorrow. He was asleep, so Cristina just quietly checked his monitor and paperwork.

"He's been so stressed out, you know" Cristina whirled around to see Charlotte in the corner again, this time off her Blackberry. She looked very tired.

"Well, cancer is never easy to deal with" Cristina replied, blandly.

"Oh, well…the cancer is only part of it. He…well, I was engaged to be married a few months ago, and after that was broken off, he's been worried that I won't…let myself settle down, or take care of myself" Samantha seemed to be fighting back tears.

"Yeah, I know something about broken engagements." She wasn't a patient; it was okay to _talk _to her. And besides, after such a great day, Cristina didn't mind being a sounding board for this woman.

"Men are assholes…"

"Agreed"

"What's your story?"

"Left behind the doors to the aisle…in the dress, after he pushed me to jump through all these stupid wedding hoops…" Cristina smiled as she said this, she had moved on.

"I got a phone call…a _phone call_. I mean, granted he was away, not much communication available. Military man" Charlotte rolled her eyes, "off for the adventure and he calls me to say that it's over…" Cristina had finished her paperwork and snapped her binder closed.

"The good news is that your father looks like he is perfectly ready for treatment. I'll be back tomorrow to prep"

"That's great" although her voice still carried more weight than happiness. Cristina opened her mouth to say something, but had nothing comforting to say. There's nothing anyone can say until you move on, it just sucks until then. "Thanks for…the talk" Charlotte finished, shrugging.

Cristina turned to leave and felt an unnatural lightness. Maybe the getting to know people thing wasn't so terrible, it did give a bit more purpose to surgery…helping people and all that. Cristina laughed to herself, one night of good screwing and she was suddenly Polly-freaking-anna.

"Cristina" her eyes shot up in surprise to hear Owen address her by her first name at the hospital.

"Dr. Hunt…" she replied, almost as if to remind him of where they were.

"What…were you doing in the Chamberlain's room?"

"Just checking numbers for the treatment that starts tomorrow…"

"I heard talking" he said, trying to sound light and normal…but failing miserably "were you talking?"

"Wha—yes…to the daughter, she was just…upset, so we were talking" Cristina furrowed her eyebrows "Is…everything okay?". She lowered her voice, while keeping her head down to her papers, "are you having…trouble after last night?"

"No no, I'm fine with that…better than fine" he gave a small laugh "I mean…anyway. I really need to talk to you tonight…about something else. Whenever we can, as soon as possible…" Cristina felt her stomach drop down to her shoes. "I'm sorry I'm being so cryptic" he hung his head.

"Alright…I'm free at six tonight"she conceded, not happy to have this damper on her day. "Just know that you're freaking me out a little bit"

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just, a long story and…I can't get into here. Just know that I still…" he brought his voice down to a whisper and pretended to be leaning in close to see a number on her chart "really care about you." It would have to do for now. He still seemed on edge, and Cristina was definitely not liking the turn that this day had suddenly taken.


	13. Surprise

Cristina was in the cafeteria, grabbing some coffee before finishing up some paperwork, when she ran into the Chamberlain daughter again.

"Hi, Dr. Yang" she was also getting a coffee, probably for staying up and watching over her dad. Cristina felt a twinge of pity at the thought of possibly losing her father. The treatment would help, but that wouldn't stop the fact that he was fading fast. The tumor wasn't his only problem, Cristina knew hearts and Chamberlain's was going to kick it soon.

"Oh hi, um…Samantha?"

"It's Charlotte" she corrected. "I know you have a lot of patients, and I'm not even one of them…"

"Right, sorry" Cristina awkwardly shook her sugar packet to throw it into her black coffee. What exactly did this woman want?

"Look, I know you're busy…but since I just happened to run into you...and I just needed...I don't know, we had a moment there in the room…and I just…" she brought her voice down to a whisper "I just ran into my ex-fiancé…in this hospital" Cristina was shocked and her mouth opened in curious glee that she fought to hide. Hospital gossip…yum.

"Here, have a seat, I have a few minutes" Cristina motioned for them to sit at a small table. Cristina put on her best sympathetic face, when inside she was just curious to know who it was.

"It was actually just after you had left…he came in to see my father, they have always been on good terms and he must have known that he had been checked in, and…and it was just extremely awkward…and sad because…I think I still have feelings for him" Cristina wondered what it would have been like if Burke had come around a few months ago. It would have been torture, even if she wouldn't admit it to anyone. It was hard enough just seeing his picture next to the Harper Avery award article.

"Wow, what did you do?"

"I…I just said his name. He seemed very awkward and nervous about seeing me. I don't know what he thinks, I mean…we haven't seen each other in person in a while. I don't even know if he's seeing anyone. But…I was just very mad at myself for still wanting to be with him…I mean, everyone screws up, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Then he just said he'd be back to check on dad later...but he had some surgical crap to do, I don't remember"

Cristina nodded and felt this was an appropriate amount of time being sympathetic and not terribly nosy. "So who was it?"

"Owen Hunt, do you know him?" Cristina felt the wind get knocked out of her. The words seemed to have come out in slow motion. All the glee at the hospital gossip vanished and was replaced with nausea.

"I…" was all Cristina could manage.

"Dr. Yang…are you alright?"

"I…yeah, I know him. He's new, actually. So I'm just surprised since none of us really…um know much about him. I'm sorry, I think the cream in my coffee was bad, I don't feel too well…excuse me" Cristina threw her coffee in the trash on her way out and walked quickly to the nearest bathroom, trying not to hyperventilate. Charlotte's face remained confused; even more so when she remembered that Dr. Yang had been drinking black coffee.

Cristina leaned over the sink in the bathroom and splashed her face with water. Okay, so Owen had a secret ex-fiancée. That's not terrible, it's not like they were still together, this was _not _an Addison situation. No. She had a fiancé a few months back, it didn't matter. _But she had told him_. What was his response to her statement about Burke changing her… that he had understood _more than she knew_. And that's what he must have wanted to talk to her about tonight. It was all coming together in a dizzying mix. She looked down at her pager and typed in the numbers "9-1-1" to Meredith; if she had to listen to the endless crap with her and McDreamy, it was time for her to cash in.

"You paged me 911…and you're in a bathroom?" Meredith had arrived in a few minutes. Cristina opened her mouth to speak, but just as she did she walked to each stall and kicked them in to make sure they were alone.

"Okay. So…McBadass…has a secret ex-fiancée…that I had been unknowingly talking to and…being nice to all day." Meredith's eyes grew wide.

"Wow, you were being nice to her?"

"Okay, yes, whatever, Cristina has a heart. That's not the point. The point is…Owen and I…we…are, you know, and he dumped this girl on the phone a few months ago...I don't even know if it was before he kissed me or...if he did it _for_ me...that's just..." Meredith nodded in acknowledgement.

"You're sure she's an ex, right?"

"Yes…she's not an Addison"

"Right…" Meredith took a breath. "So the ex told you about him…thinking you were just, her doctor?"

"She's very chatty…and I was very not smooth in my exit" Cristina recalled. Callie was right, she was _not _as smooth as she thought. "Whatever...enough about her, what do _I_ do?"

"I mean, technically he hasn't done anything wrong…he probably should have told you, but at least he's not married. Maybe he was going to get around to it eventually"

"He frantically told me we needed to talk tonight"

"Guess the secret's out already…"

"I know…this is going to be so awkward" Cristina smacked a palm onto her forehead. Just as she did, her pager went off. "Damn it" she yelled as she ran out of the bathroom. The Chamberlain patient was coding.

--------**  
**

**A/N: Just poking fun at myself with the first bit about the name. Thanks to everyone who corrected me. And as always, thank you SO MUCH to everyone that has read and reviewed!**


	14. Explain

Just as Cristina had reached the patient's room, the resident working the code was calling the time of death. For a moment, Cristina's frantic thoughts involving secret ex-fiancées was put on hold and she had a genuine moment of sympathy. Charlotte hadn't been with her father when he died…that was one courtesy that Cristina _had_ been given. She had had the moment where they had looked into each others eyes before he left, a goodbye…Cristina lowered her eyes and walked in.

"He was my patient…what happened?"

"Heart attack…came out of nowhere"

"Well he had a weak heart, but still…his numbers were good enough that they were ready to go through with treatment for the cancer tomorrow…" her words hung in the hair as the code team packed up the cart.

"Dr. Yang, you'll inform the family?"

"Me? I…" she knew she had to. Dammit, this was slowly developing into the day from hell. Cristina went out into the waiting area where Charlotte was still playing with her coffee cup.

"Are you feeling better?" Charlotte asked sweetly, standing up to greet Cristina.

"Oh yeah…I'm sorry about that, but…look, Charlotte, you should probably sit down"

"Oh my God…what's happened?"

"I'm very sorry but a few minutes ago your father suffered a heart attack…" Charlotte sucked a loud gasp of air. "The code team did everything they could, but…his heart was already weak and…I'm sorry." Charlotte looked as though she was going to fall, but simply threw herself into Cristina's arms. Cristina looked around for help, but then settled for awkwardly patting Charlotte on the back. Owen walked over from the main desk where he had been dropping off papers. Cristina avoided his intense gaze.

"Charlotte…I just heard, I'm so sorry" Owen said, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets and looking down. "Walter was a good man…" Charlotte leapt from Cristina's arms and into Owen's. Cristina met Owen's eyes; they were a mix of guilt and sadness. Charlotte was now weeping into Owen's jacket, but Cristina felt a pang of jealousy as she saw Charlotte's hand wrap around the back of Owen's neck, a place where Cristina felt as though she had protective custody. She turned on the spot and walked away, she wasn't sure where she was going or why, but just felt the need to get the hell away from Owen and Charlotte, particularly when they looked so comfortable. The thought that another woman had been so close to Owen drove her mad, and jealousy did not suit her well.

After ten minutes of aimlessly staring at papers, Cristina heard her pager go off. Owen was paging her to an on-call room. _Really?_ She thought. _Seriously?_ She found herself walking towards the room; she wanted him to explain everything away and reassure her that everything was still perfect…she just wasn't sure how he could pull it off. She walked into the on-call room, closed the door behind her, crossed her arms and stuck out a hip.

"I…don't know where to start" he said, simply, giving her a pleading look with his deep blue eyes. Cristina was momentarily disarmed, but then regained her frustration.

"How about the part where Charlotte is your ex-fiancée who you dumped on the phone a few years ago"

"Oh…wow. You know more than I thought…" He looked away in dismay. It was hard for her to stay mad with the sadness she saw in them, but she tried to stay firm.

"Yeah, with no help from you" she took a breath. First thing is first. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

"No" Owen said quickly. "Definitely not at all romantically, or even…platonically, really…I just feel bad for her now because of her father"

"When did you leave her?"

"It was just after I started my last tour in Iraq…" Cristina thought it out in her head…so that had been before the two of them had met that night of the snowstorm; she heaved a sigh of relief internally. "I found out she had cheated on me" Cristina was taken aback. Charlotte hadn't seemed like a cheater…but then again, she had mentioned something about how everyone screws up. "But that's not even exactly why I left her…I just realized that even though she had cheated, I wasn't angry or…even surprised" he shrugged. "On the other hand…the thought of you being with someone else makes me want to punch something…" he added with quiet intensity.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Cristina asked, her tone softening as his answers eased away some of her anxiety.

"I wanted to tell you the night we were talking about past engagements…but I…was a coward. You were so brave to talk to me about it and I just felt like I…I would screw up everything by telling you and…I just don't know how to communicate sometimes" It wasn't great, but it was something. "Do you hate me?"

"A little…" Cristina said, letting a smile peek through. Instead of smiling, Owen's eyes grew more clouded.

"I can't believe that Walter's dead…" Cristina had totally forgotten that Owen had known him.

"I'm sorry…I knew he had a weak heart, but…"

"He was old, but not _that _old…it's scary how little time we have" he shook his head, but then looked up directly into Cristina's eyes. "I really am sorry I didn't tell you about Charlotte before...and that you had to hear from her instead of me."

"It's…it's alright. But no more surprises, okay?" Owen nodded.

"Okay…I'm sorry, but…I doubt I'd be good company tonight…did you still want to meet up?"

"Actually…if you'd rather be alone, Meredith mentioned something about meeting her for a drink…" he nodded. "But if you're feeling better later or if you need me…just give me a call" Cristina said, placing a hand lightly on his cheek and stroking it. "Seriously..."

"Okay…" Owen said, giving Cristina a look that made her melt. How had he managed to get her to leave stroking him lovingly and with all forgiven? She really was falling for him. She turned to leave, but Owen grabbed her hand. "Hey" he pulled her close. "We're okay?" Cristina gave him a kiss that started softly but ended with a significant amount of heat, silently answering his question.


	15. Guilt

"You're surprisingly cheerful for someone whose quasi-boyfriend's ex fiancée has showed up out of the blue…" Meredith said, sipping some more of her bay breeze "and being Cristina" she added. Cristina leaned back in her chair luxuriously and raised her gin and tonic to her lips.

"Owen and I officially survived our first…thing…" Cristina said, smugly.

"You mean, you aren't mad at him or freaking out in bathrooms anymore?"

"Nope…he explained everything. And I can spot a liar, Owen is no liar" Meredith still looked confused. "She cheated on him…he doesn't care about her…he's just upset about her father. They were close" Cristina's smug look faltered slightly at the memory of the deep blue sadness in Owen's eyes. The last thing he needed was another death on his mind.

"Well I'm happy for you" Meredith clinked her glass into Cristina's. "We are now both in healthy relationships with our bosses…just like old times." Meredith awkwardly slid her eyes to glance at Cristina at the last line, but Cristina laughed it off. Burke might have been a man, but Owen made him look like a whiny little boy.

After another hour of drinks and jokes at the expense of other surgeons and nurses, Cristina called it a night. She staggered slightly in the street on her two block walk back to her apartment, singing lightly under her breath. Her breath caught in her throat as she noticed a man sitting on her doorstep…with a dull brown jacket…and fiery red hair. She felt some butterflies start up again in her stomach and she tried to straighten out her walk as he turned to her. In his eyes was a pain that almost knocked the wind out of Cristina.

"I…needed someone" he said, taking a gulp. "Am I intruding?"

"Of course not…come on in" she fished around for her keys "You should have called, people are going to think you're stalking me" she laughed, looking down at him expectantly.

"I think I'm the reason that Walter died…" Cristina turned and sat on the step with him, just as they had when he told her that she was beautiful not so long ago. She would have just assured him that he wasn't, but she knew empty words of comfort were just that…empty. He looked up at her. "He…the strain on his heart…that was me. I did that to him, by leaving Charlotte." Cristina took his hand in hers and fingered the worn life lines in his palm.

"You can't take responsibility for that…"

"I…I talked to him after you left his room, I wanted to see how he was…" Owen was staring at the pavement between his feet. "He had always been a good friend…I met him in training, he was the one that introduced me to Charlottte" he sighed again. "Anyway, after a few moments of pleasantries…he begged me to take Charlotte back, to look after her. He was positive she still wanted me and that we were…meant for each other." Cristina consciously forced herself to keep playing lightly with Owen's hand although her stomach was turning.

"I told him that I was sure that we weren't…but I never had the heart to tell him she had cheated on me, so I just assured him that we weren't right and…that I had someone else now" Cristina felt the corner of her lips turn up at this, despite the somber mood.

"And?" Cristina prompted.

"And…he rolled onto his side and stopped talking. I could tell he was angry, but I thought it was probably just the fact that he had treatment the next day and he was worried about…planning for Charlotte when he would be gone"

"I'm not just saying this because I want you to myself, but you can't…just to appease an old friend, who didn't even have the whole story…you can't make yourself miserable" Cristina flushed. She realized that she was assuming he thought a life without her would be miserable. "I mean, if that were to…I just mean that it's your life, in the end"

"Cristina, I would be miserable away from you"

"Oh" was all she could manage at such a statement.

"My head is just a mess with all of this, I'm sure after the funeral and…everything, I'll sort myself out"

"Just let me know what you need for me" Cristina said, standing up from her stoop. Owen nodded, he stood up and awkwardly lingered.

"I know it might be a little…awkward, but could…would you go to the funeral with me?"

"Of course"

"Look I know things have been…weird and…confusing today and just after we finally got on track with everything…" Cristina wordlessly took his hand and led him into the building.

"You need sleep tonight…" she said, holding his hand and she led him up the stairs. Once they had crawled into bed, Cristina felt the now familiar hand drape itself over her hip and smiled despite all the chaos of the day. She hadn't been able to fall asleep for an hour feeling Owen shift around. "Is everything okay?" she whispered. She just heard Owen sigh.

"I'm sorry…I shouldn't keep you up, I'll just head back…I'm sorry"

"Stop apologizing, it makes you sound a little pathetic" Cristina said, turning over to face him. He had sat up in bed, but she pulled him back down. She smiled at him. "You're staying here, just lie down." He lay on his back and he closed his eyes. Cristina took some menthol rub out of her nightstand and placed some lightly on her fingertips. She then began kneading her fingers on his temples in a light massage. After a minute of this, she lightly kissed his lips and smiled a moment later when she heard a small snore.


	16. Fight

The next morning Owen reflected back on the day. What a whirlwind…finally making love to Cristina, a morning of insanity when Charlotte showing up, the ensuing chaos where he fought to tell Cristina about Charlotte, and then...Walter. Owen tried to swallow the lump growing in his throat. Walter had taken him under his wing, treated him like a son well before Charlotte had ever entered the picture…now he was gone, and the last interaction between them had been one of tension and anger, on his part. Owen sat up and glanced back down at Cristina, who was sleeping peacefully. He lovingly moved a few curls from her face and kissed her cheek, she only stirred slightly. He had to go into the hospital soon, but again didn't want to wake her. She had been so sweet, again covering it with her dry remarks, but still a great tenderness in how she had massaged his temples…she was too good for him; he shook his head.

"I'm going in early…I'll see you later" he whispered in her ear. She slightly curled her lip into a vague smile in her sleepy fog. She had known he had to go in early, so he figured he would just head out, although he had a great deal of difficulty tearing his eyes away from her sleeping so peacefully.

After a quick shower at the hospital, Owen walked through the various trauma rooms, only two traumas had been admitted that night—both from the same drunk driving accident. Both victims were now stable and the intoxicated party was being investigated by police. Owen looked over the patients names and felt his heart sink when he saw the second victim's name.

"How are you feeling?" he asked her, walking in and checking her chart.

"Alright…as good as I could feel in my situation" Charlotte said, looking up from her hands. "You know, father died yesterday, in a dangerous car crash the night after, and an ex-fiancée that is in love with another woman…" she ticked each scenario off on her fingers. "Other than that, I'm spectacular."

"I'm sorry about Walter" Owen repeated, clenching his jaw. "You're expected to make a full recovery from this accident, and…" he took a deep breath "I can't help the way I feel and you can't pretend that you didn't help cause the end of our relationship"

"I'm sorry that I hated seeing you go off to war every few months. Sorry for caring about your safety! Sorry for thinking that you were an idiot for going off to the desert just for shits and giggles while telling me it was all from some misguided sense of self-righteousness …this new woman she might fall for the flashy hot military man deal now, but once she finds out about your obsession, no _addiction _to battle and excitement or the fact that you have a constant slideshow of battle gore playing in your head, she's just going to leave you!"

"Stop right there, Charlotte" Owen barked with authority. "Do not talk to me about Cristina." Owen tried to cover the quake in his voice with sharpness, but he could not pretend that her words had not brought him uneasiness. Maybe Cristina did think he was exciting now…but after realizing how twisted he was…who would want to settle down with someone so damaged? He shook off the idea, but it managed to stick. "Besides, you're stable but you shouldn't get worked up"

"Well I _am _worked up. I only went with Roger to make you come home…to make you realize you were pushing me away and that you didn't need the adventure, _we_ could be an adventure…I only did that after everything else I tried had failed. But all it did was make you push me away even further…you always did have trouble letting people in."

"I…can't help the way I felt and _still feel_. Those people were my brothers and sisters, I went and fought for them. I can't help that we just weren't meant to be" Owen said, softly but with an intense clarity.

"That's where you're wrong" Charlotte said, staring him in the eyes. "Owen, we've known each other forever…we're good together. Seeing you now, being near you again…I don't think I can make it without you. I think we can get past this, especially now that you're discharged…don't you think this could all be fate? Me coming to this of all hospitals where you just _happen_ to have started working…of all the hospitals in all the world…"

"God, Charlotte you don't _get _it!" he yelled, backing further away from her bed, shoving her chart back into the slot. "I don't love you, I'm in love with someone else…that's not going to change just because you suddenly think someone is pulling strings up there…"

"Well, I'm happy to see that at least you are still a stubborn ass…" Charlotte said, rolling her eyes.

"I'll have Dr. Karev check back on your case…and I don't ever want to see you again" Owen said as he strode briskly out of the room. He knew the last words had stung, but they were true. He wanted them to sting. He had never let it hit him just how mad he was at her until now…mad at her for justifying her cheating, for showing up and trying to mess with his life which was already quite messy enough, and mostly mad at her for planting a seed of doubt about Cristina in his head.


	17. Paranoia

"Cristina, the chief wants to see you in his office" George said, struggling with his binder charts up to his neck. Typical Bambi, still unable to get control of his interns. Damn interns.

"Got it" she said, striding quickly toward his office. While she respected his prowess and professional distance as a surgeon, Cristina had slowly grown tired of the chief. Not least of all was his refusal to hear any explanation about the Secret Intern Cutting Society and then forcing her to choose the replacement. She walked into his office and stood in front of him.

"George told me you wanted to see me" she said coldly.

"Have a seat, Dr. Yang" Cristina took a seat. Her anger now flooding her more. She didn't want to be in this room with him. It was as if he was trying to make her learning here more difficult, taking away the solo surgery. Didn't he know that she could have gone to Hopkins? Or _anywhere_ for that matter? "I called you here because I have done some reconsidering regarding the solo surgery situation" he began, leaning back in his chair. "Now, your entire resident class was in some way responsible for the situation and I can appreciate that. You have been amply punished for your part in the situation and now I believe that you should be rewarded for the fact that every Attending still did pick you for the surgery." Cristina could not believe this. She suddenly felt lighter, but tried to bring herself down…no point in getting her hopes up. "I will let you choose one surgery to scrub in on. Any surgery. Within the next week, let me know what you want, and it's yours."

"Thank you, sir" Cristina said, quietly. "Is that all?" The Chief seemed slightly taken aback at her stoicism.

"Uh..y-yes, Dr. Yang. You can leave." Cristina left the room only after allowing herself a small smile. Once she had left, the Chief looked up to see his secretary walk in.

"Sir? Did you still want me to make the call?" she asked, adjusting her glasses. The Chief rubbed his chin thoughtfully. She hadn't taken the news as gleefully as he had expected…or hoped…but nonetheless, there was not much other choice.

"Yes, Celeste" he said, getting up and pacing his office. "Go through with the call…"

****

Alex slammed his tray on the cafeteria table next to Meredith and Cristina.

"This patient Hunt assigned me is a real bitch" he said simply, hungrily shoving some lettuce into his mouth.

"Well, someone had a nice morning" Meredith said with a humored grin.

"Yeah, maybe I can tolerate you today…" Cristina said in her usual Evil Spawn drawl.

"Don't try and hide it, Yang, now everyone knows how you feel about me…giving me a surgery" Alex pretended to be touched and wiped away a fake tear. Meredith awkwardly avoided both their eyes and Cristina rolled hers.

"Shouldn't your mouth be chugging some beer or something instead of wasting time pissing me off?"

"Whatever, this chick is off the reservation…she refuses to let me do anything, demands to see the army guy" Alex shook his head, causing him to miss Cristina freezing slightly in her seat. "One of those elite patients, only want the Attendings to touch them." Cristina sucked in a bit of air at the mention of Owen and touching…and…it _had_ to be Charlotte, or what she being paranoid? Probably drove off a cliff to get Owen to treat her...to touch her again. Probably tried to reel him in with the old stories, old friends, old jokes… had it worked? Meredith picked up on Cristina's oddly spaced out vibe and started talking about her patient issues to change the subject. Cristina stayed in her own internal dialogue the rest of lunch and decided to find out if Charlotte really was in the hospital before going any more insane.

After lunch she checked the new patients list from the past night; Cristina did notice Charlotte Chamberlain admitted early in the morning from a car accident. She couldn't help but scoff. But Cristina Yang was not the jealous type. She played it cool…after all, Owen _had_ told her that she chose her…right?


	18. Smile

Cristina found herself lingering in the hallway where Charlotte's hospital bed was. She had walked past the door a few times, curious to see if Owen was inside…he wasn't. Should she talk to this chick? Tell her that the hot redhead was hers now and if she didn't want to find herself with a mysterious toxic liquid in her IV, she better back the hell off? No…that might be a bit over the top. She breezed past the door again and found an arm slip around her elbow and drag her down the hallway. Cristina hoped it would be Owen's strong, warm arm around her but instead it was Meredith's bony elbow dragging her down the hallway away from Charlotte's room.

"You're being a creepy stalker doctor" she said, continuing to drag Cristina farther from the room. "You should really stop before that patient takes out a restraining order on you…"

"I am not" Cristina protested with a hint of whine. "I was just…checking…um"

"You've been checking for the past 30 minutes"

"Oh _now_ who's the creepy stalker doctor?"

"Look…I just don't want to be getting asked for an interview by the local news because I'm the best friend of a surgeon who went psycho and took a chainsaw to some patient" Meredith took a breath and added more seriously, "you can't let this ex stuff get you crazy…"

"How can you tell me that? Of all people in the world, I would think _you_ would think I was justified…" Meredith stopped abruptly and stared at Cristina, who sighed. "People…they have histories. I don't really know his history…you never know when people will just drop you…" Meredith looked as though she was about to interrupt but Cristina cut her off. "I'm not talking about Burke…I just mean that, I don't know what he had with this woman…I just know it was enough for him to get engaged…how can I not be a little worried about that?" Meredith looked down and moved her arm away.

"Fine, but don't use the concern to justify your creepiness…just talk to him about it or something…words are good for this kind of thing"

"Yeah, okay, whatever" Cristina responded, to which Meredith grinned and walked away. Cristina eyed Charlotte's room one more time and decidedly walked in the opposite direction.

***

Owen involuntarily smiled as he saw Cristina staring down the surgical board. She seemed to be mumbling to herself under her breath.

"Anything catch your eye?" he asked from behind her. She turned to look at him and then looked back at the board.

"The Chief is letting me pick any surgery to scrub in on in the next week…I have to choose carefully, I mean…obviously I'm looking for cardio, but it has to be the perfect surgery" Owen nodded, impressed.

"I guess he owes you that. I think he took some of his ranking issues out on you…"

"Yeah…oh and to answer your question…" she turned back to face him with a playful look "something has caught my eye" she smirked and eyed him up and down. He felt himself grow warm and looked deeply into her as well. They abruptly took a step apart and snapped their heads back towards the board as Dr. Bailey walked by. She eyed Cristina, who gave her a smile that was unnaturally large and toothy, further catching Dr. Bailey's suspicion.

"What's your problem?" Dr. Bailey said, furrowing her brow at Cristina's unnatural happiness. Cristina's grinned vanished quickly and was replaced with a confused look. "I know you, Yang, you don't smile…you're not a smiler and_ clearly_ you don't have practice…so what's your problem?"Owen glanced at the two of them and tried not to laugh.

"Nothing I just….get to pick a—"

"Surgery…the Chief is letting you pick a surgery, yeah I heard. I meant the creepy smiley face, knock it off…you're going to scare people" Dr. Bailey looked away from Cristina and nodded at Owen who nodded back to her and she turned to continue down the hallway.

"You really are incredibly smooth" Owen laughed.

"Bailey can see through people…I swear"

"Right…with your moves we'll be outed around the hospital in a few hours"

"I'm just not used to this" Cristina said, quietly pretending to flip through her clipboard while every so often glancing to Owen at her side.

"To…?"

"To having to hide…things…a relationship…here"

"Oh" Owen was slightly taken aback. "So your ex…it was all…open?" He suddenly felt inadequate.

"Well, I wanted to keep it secret…or at least, quiet…he kind of went behind my back and told the Chief. Anyway, I'm glad we're being…discreet, I'm just not used to it…" Cristina paused and took a breath to embolden herself. "Can we talk about Charlotte?" Owen visibly stiffened.

"I thought we had covered everything…" he slowly turned to her and something in her face seemed desperate. "But if you still want to talk we can…tonight?"

"I'm off at nine…"

"Come to my place, I'm off at seven…I'll make you dinner" Owen turned away as did Cristina.

"I'll bring the wine."


	19. Drawing

**I realized that I had promised another chapter before the next episode tomorrow! I hope you enjoy!**

---------------------------

Charlotte eyed Owen from the hospital desk. He was standing outside of a patient's room reviewing another chart. She signed her name with one final swish and handed them to the nurse at the desk.

"You're all set, Ms. Chamberlain…" the nurse said, handing her a receipt. "And again, I'm very sorry for your loss." Charlotte nodded vacantly. She still hadn't processed her father's…death. So much had happened in the past two days that she felt that if she thought about it too much she wouldn't be able to breathe. She looked back over at Owen again and felt a strange pinch in her stomach. He didn't love her anymore…or maybe he never had and they had only been together from some distorted sense of duty he felt to her or…her father. Either way, he had made it amply clear that he didn't want to be with her…and she wasn't the type of girl to beg. She knew her fits in the hospital had all just been ploys to escape her biggest fear—being alone in this world now that her father was gone.

Maybe she had never loved Owen…they had always been good together, but _loved_? Maybe she just clung to him as a safety net. He was rarely around anyway so maybe she just liked the idea of having a fiancé…and not necessarily the _act_ of having one so she subconsciously sabotaged the relationship by cheating on him. Or maybe this was all something her therapist had planted in her head a couple weeks ago.

Whatever her internal ramblings, Owen had made it clear that he loved someone else…Cristina Yang. How ironic that she had confided in Cristina after she had first seen Owen. The look on her face when she found out that they had been engaged…Charlotte had thought she was choking. She wondered if Dr. Yang knew that Owen loved her…I mean, just from the few moments she had seen them together, although in denial, it was all too obvious to Charlotte just seeing the way he looked at Cristina. He had never looked at Charlotte like that.

Shaking her head, Charlotte saw Owen leaving a patient's room and she quickly followed to catch up with him.

"Owen" she said quietly. She saw him pick up his pace slightly. She rolled her eyes and touched his shoulder. "Owen." He stopped and looked at her so intensely she thought she might burst into flames right there.

"What?"

"I…I'm leaving" she said adjusting her bag on her shoulder. "I'm fit to check out and so…I am" The deeper meaning to these words was slowly softening Owen's face. He nodded and sighed.

"Charlotte…I'm ready to let it go. We were close for a while but that was…before. Let's just leave it there" Charlotte nodded.

"I'm thinking of going someplace sunny…maybe San Diego…"

"I think that's a great idea" Owen said, giving her a hint of a grin. He suddenly grew more serious. "The funeral?"

"It's the day after tomorrow…" she said in a small voice. "It's going to be very tough."

"Well, make sure to send me the information. I want to be there…for Walter" Charlotte nodded. He was making himself very clear, any remaining sliver of hope she may have had just disappeared with a snap.

"She's a great doctor…and she definitely cares about you" Charlotte said quietly. Owen had stiffened protectively at the mention of Cristina. "I think you can do each other some good…and…and I hope that you do." An awkward silent moment passed.

"Take care of yourself then" she nodded and leaned in towards Owen in the vain hope of receiving even a half-hearted hug, but he extended a hand instead. They shook hands and he walked away abruptly. Charlotte eyed him hungrily as he walked away—he was a good man and Cristina Yang was a lucky woman. Well, maybe in San Diego she could be somebody's Cristina Yang.

*********

Cristina took a deep breath and rang Owen's bell. He opened the door within seconds. Cristina bit back a grin as she noted the apron he was wearing over his jeans and black green tee-shirt. Owen pulled her close and kissed her deeply. He wanted to feel her warmth. He closed the door behind her as she wrapped her arms around his waist. They pulled apart and Owen grinned at her.

"Hmmm" she licked her lips lightly and swallowed. He had tasted like chardonnay and the combination of the alcohol and Owen's heightened warmth intoxicated her. "You've started without me…"

"Well we have reason to celebrate" Owen said, taking her hand and leading her into the kitchen. She pulled herself up onto the counter and cocked her head. Owen went back to tending the chicken on the stove and looked up at Cristina with a smile. "Charlotte left today and she's moving." Cristina felt herself smile. The fact that Owen was clearly celebrating over Charlotte's departure gave her some serious satisfaction.

"I'm relieved she's leaving" Cristina said, letting the exhaustion and tension surrounding the Charlotte ordeal seep into her words. Owen put the spatula down and put his arms around Cristina on the counter.

"I'm sorry if anything made you feel like you were second to her. You're not. You are…it, for me" he said, quietly, nuzzling his head in the space next to her neck, inhaling her sent. It sent shivers down her spine. He must have had more wine that she thought, he was so relaxed and more affectionate than usual. Something about being in a drunk Major Owen's apartment made her blood pump harder. He began working hard on the right side of her neck and she laughed as his beard tickled her neck. She didn't need to talk about Charlotte. It was enough that Owen had celebrated her departure, made her dinner, and was in the process of doing painfully pleasurable things to neckline…she knew he cared about her, she could see it in the way he looked at her. He might have been a big tough army man, but his eyes gave away everything.

"We don't need to talk about Charlotte" Cristina said amidst intermittent gasps of enjoyment.

"Good…I'd much rather talk about you" Owen stood back and kept a hand in her hair.

"Well…it's 9:15 and I'm hungry, but I don't want to eat burnt chicken tonight" Owen looked puzzled for a moment, then after a moment of realization ran back over to the chicken to turn off the stove. Cristina hopped off the counter and walked over to the stove. Her hand crawled up the back of his tee shirt and drifted casual between his shoulder blades.

Cristina looked from his focused face, determined on saving the chicken, to her own hand comfortably drawing patterns on his back and was suddenly bludgeoned with an intense desire to express _something_. She slowly traced very specific lines on his back. "I…L…O…V…" she continued, trying to remain nonchalant in her body language, trying to stay relaxed since Owen wouldn't realize what she was doing anyway. But once she when she was just about finished she felt his body tense slightly. He let out an ecstatic laugh and smiled at her. The happiness in his face and the width of his smile disarmed Cristina. There was no way he knew what she had drawn…was there?

"Um…what is it?" Cristina asked, her eyes wide with nervous anticipation. Owen just shook his head slightly and looked back at the chicken.

"The…chicken isn't burned." She let out a deep breath and nodded at him with a smile, looking down at the chicken. Owen's eyes stayed on Cristina and while he looked as though he wanted to say something, he settled for just roving her face with his eyes and then placing the chicken on a plate.

------------------------------

**I know the bit with Cristina at the end is a bit cutesy, but I can honestly see Cristina doing that (hoping he won't notice, but needing to express it). Enjoy tomorrow night's show everyone!**


	20. Funeral

Cristina and Owen had just finished washing up after a three-hour surgery that they had shared with Dr. Bailey and Alex Karev. They walked out into the hallway and Cristina pushed the elevator button going up.

"Phew" Cristina sighed, leaning lightly against the wall.

"Yeah…" Owen agreed. "That was tiring…"

"Yeah, working on that artery bust took forever but…the more blood, the better" Cristina said lightly, giving Owen a toothy grin.

"Oh" Owen faked puzzlement as they walked into the open elevator. "I wasn't talking about the surgery…" It was Cristina's turn to look confused.

"Then what were you—" she started, but was cut off when Owen pulled her close and fiercely laid his lips on hers. She felt herself propelled toward the side of the elevator as he lifted her up against the wall. She put her arms around the back of his neck and through his hair, not sure what had spurred his actions, but definitely taking advantage of the rewards. One arm holding her up firmly around the small of her back while the other once again found a way into her dark curls, Owen gave a small groan as he heard another ding. They felt the elevator pause on another floor and unwillingly broke apart. Both gasping for air, he helped her down and she adjusted her scrubs. She exhaled with a grin.

"I meant that watching you look so intense and focused in surgery, working with all that blood, for three hours…" he shivered "Very hot… and not being able to jump you until now, very tiring" he grinned at her mischievously.

"Hmm" Cristina said as the doors opened for a couple other doctors to walk in. "Feeling better?"

"A bit…" he looked at her behind the backs of the other doctors. The way his eyes helped himself to her body, she knew that tonight would be a good one.

**********

It was the afternoon of the funeral and Cristina was frantically running around the apartment trying to find her black dress. While running from the kitchen back into her room in nothing more than her underwear, she more or less plowed into Callie who was on her way into the hospital.

"Whoa, watch it, Yang!"

"Damnit …" Cristina was breathless and flinging clothes around her room. "I have a….thing"

"Right…just make sure I can still find my bedroom by the time I get back" Cristina heard Callie open the door and then voices from the hallway. Shit, Owen was there. She really needed her dress now…if he saw her like this, they'd probably end up missing the funeral altogether in favor of other activities. Cristina paused for a millisecond to contemplate the potential bliss of such a situation before snapping out of it and diving back into her closet. She found her dress just as she heard Owen's heavy footsteps heading over to her room. She slipped into the dress and tweaked her body around violently to drag her zipper up. She was failing until she felt a large warm hand lift the zipper up and out of her hands. She felt his warm breath on her neck and was happily reminded of the time he had helped her tie her trauma gown weeks ago. Owen's mouth was by her ear.

"Thank you for coming with me" he whispered. His hands wrapped around her waist and he let his head droop down over her shoulder. "But you shouldn't look this hot for a funeral, it's…_inappropriate_" she could feel him smirk against her skin.

"You're awfully playful for someone going to a funeral" Cristina said, with a strange mix of flirtatiousness and concern. She turned around and placed her arms around the back of his neck. For a moment she was caught off guard, she had never seen him in a suit before. She smiled inside at the fact that he looked vaguely like much more rugged red-headed James Bond in it. "You're going to be okay?" She sounded as if she meant it to be a statement but her intonation faltered at the end.

"If you weren't coming I might've be concerned…" he rubbed a thumb over her hand, "but I'm going to be okay. I just need to honor Walter for everything he's done for me…and to…settle things."

"Well I'm ready" Cristina said, pulling her hair down and scrunching it slightly. She slipped into her black shoes and grabbed her purse. Owen put his arm around her shoulders, kissed the side of her forehead and they walked out of the apartment.

****************

As they stood among the small crowd around the giant hole in the dirt, Cristina could see Owen wording things lightly under his breath. She assumed he was "talking" to Walter and tried not to listen. They weren't touching, but standing very close to one another.

"If there was anything that Walter was more proud of in this world than his distinguished career in the military, it was his beautiful daughter, Charlotte" the priest stated solemnly. Cristina felt Owen hand drift into hers and she held onto it with a soft strength. "We know now that he carries his hopes for her, and the safety of his friends, up to Heaven and into God's open ears." She felt him squeezing her hand tightly, almost painfully, in need. She looked sideways at his face and noted how tightly his jaws were clenched. Cristina felt a warmth in her chest when she realized that she wasn't so concerned about her "surgeon hands" and she was about Owen…maybe she was going soft, she mused.

After the funeral, Cristina leaned lightly on Owen's shoulder as they walked back to his car. Several possible silence-breaking lines entered Cristina's mind but she really wasn't sure what to say. She wasn't very good at consoling…instead they just drove back to her apartment in silence. She wasn't sure whether or not he would come up, but he wordlessly took her hand as they went up the steps to her apartment. They walked in and Cristina threw her keys onto the table. Owen sat on the couch and Cristina curled up next to him a moment later. He looked at her and gave her a very soft kiss. She smiled at him.

"We don't really have a lot of time…in the end…do we?" Owen said, at last breaking the silence.

"No…no, we really don't…" Cristina agreed. Another moment passed.

"Thank you for coming with me…it was nice to have you there" he kissed her forehead.

"My hand doesn't thank you too much…" Cristina said lightly, lifting up the hand he had been holding. "I should really get them insured…" He looked slightly alarmed.

"I'm sorry…I didn't even realize—" She put a finger to his lips.

"Don't worry about it, I was just kidding…I'm tough, that was nothing." Owen took her hand away from his lips and slowly started kneading it with his hands. "Do you still feel bad about Walter?"

"No…" Owen said, honestly. "I think going to the funeral only made me realize that I only have my one life…I can't spend it feeling badly that I didn't do what someone else wanted…" He smiled at her. "No point in wasting time by being unhappy..." He kissed her again, deeply.

"Good…" she said, standing up and pulling him up and into the bedroom with her. "That means I won't be taking advantage of your emotional state when I have my way with you now."

"Definitely not" he said, grabbing her around the waist and throwing her over his shoulder in a fireman's hold. She laughed freely.

"Hey, _I _was seducing _you_" she whined.

"Shut it, Yang." he laughed and smacked her rear and shut the door behind them.


	21. Commitment

**I don't know what you're talking about, it definitely hasn't been almost 2 months since I've updated....Okay, I was busy. But this chapter is fairly long for me, does that help? Oh, and I promise to have another chapter up before "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"?**

-------------------------

Cristina walked blissfully down the hallway. Charlotte had left, Owen had gotten closure with Walter and had spent the night making her squirm with agonizing ecstasy, and today was the day of the surgery she had selected to scrub in on—badass cardio, naturally. She found herself fighting the urge the skip to the nurse's station or keep a goofy grin off her face.  
"Why're you so happy?" Izzie asked, looking confused and awkward.

"Just scrubbing in on a crazy hardcore cardio surgery…nothing that would interest you" Cristina said smugly. Izzie opened her mouth as if to say something but Meredith jogged over slightly out of breath.

"Cristina…we have to talk" she panted.

"Oh…I—" Cristina looked at her pager as it had just gone off, she had to wash and prepare for the surgery or she would be out. "I can't talk now…later."

"No, Cristina…seriously"

"Seriously…I'll talk to you later, whatever the McDreamy drama…I just can't right now…I'm in a happy place. I'm not going to mess up with Dixon by being late, she'll won't let me in the OR if I'm not on her schedule" Cristina yelled, back at them, turning the corner in a hurry. "We'll get a drink later." Meredith's eyes grew wide.

"Oh I bet we will…" Meredith sighed and propped her head up on her hand.

"Several…" Izzie chimed.

"I tried. I definitely tried. You can be my witness in court" Meredith said, staring at Izzie with a cocked eyebrow and a slightly manic expression.

"Yeah… is going to be ugly" Izzie paused. " I think I'll make popcorn" Izzie added cheerfully, as Meredith threw her a withering look.

*************

"What are you doing here?" Cristina asked, trying to sound as blasé as possible while washing up to head into the OR.

"Oh, you know perfectly well, Cristina…you chose to scrub in on my surgery after all. Did you really think anyone else was capable of handling something like this?" his eyes flashed full of arrogance and joy at her annoyance. Cristina rolled her eyes. "Besides…when I heard the wedding fell through, I just had to come by and say 'I told you so'…surely you won't begrudge me that?" Cristina threw her towel into the disposal with a snap and slammed the door closed behind her. Dr. Marlowe shrugged and continued washing up for surgery, perfectly fine with the idea that the next three hours were going to be very tense.

**************

Owen had a headache from Izzie Stevens' incessant rambling, particularly when it involved her mentioning Cristina's sexual history with some doctor that was visiting the hospital. He thumbed through some charts trying to find the one for his patient and tone her out so he wouldn't have to think about what she was saying. Izzie was sighing and leaning on the desk next to him, clearly exasperated with his inability to give this situation proper attention.

"Dr. Marlowe is here…again. Which is awkward for Cristina, I'm sure…although I can't say that upsets me much…" Owen rolled his eyes.

"Is this the Marlowe that developed the Marlowe transplant?"

"Yes! So you _have_ heard of him…I guess I'm not surprised, I mean he's a cardio god. Used to be Cristina's sex god, actually…" Izzie let out a laugh. Owen cleared his throat. This girl had a serious addiction to gossip and he refused to feed into it. She absolutely could not keep her mouth shut. She wasn't bad in the OR most of the time, but she was incredibly frivolous. And the thing where she mentioned Cristina's past sex partners to him at work, definitely not helping him keep it professional. He put on his seriously badass look, cutting her off from her continued ramblings about the last time Marlowe showed up at the hospital and something about blue pills.

"Dr. Stevens, is Dr. Marlowe working on our patient?"

"No…but—"

"Do Dr. Yang's past sexual partners have anything to do with our patient?"

"Um…no…"

"Should you have been spending the past ten minutes blathering on about this crap or checking on our patient's test results?" Izzie opened her mouth the respond, but closed it and took the chart from him .

"And Dr. Stevens, I think you should keep the private personal information you know about your fellow residents to yourself. This hospital has enough gossip going around as it is." Izzie walked away shaking her head at the papers in front of her as she mumbled a "yes, sir". Owen took a deep breath and tried to keep some unhappy images out of his head.

**********

After several hours of surgery, Cristina was doubly exhausted from Marlowe's snide remarks during surgery about being left at the altar in addition to the length and intensity of the surgery. So a surgery that was meant as consolation or losing the solo surgery ended up just exhausting her more and bringing up some demons that she would much rather not face. She just wanted to collapse into bed…her day had cascaded downhill since finding out Marlowe was back and she hadn't seen Owen all day since they had both been busy. She sat on the bench and stared into her locker blankly. Too tired to move or think…she hated that Marlowe had to bring up Burke constantly. She was tough, but even she had trouble keeping it together when an ex was asking you to explain, to a full OR and gallery, why exactly your ex-fiance had left you. Or what about her could scare a man from even coming back to work in the same hospital. He made her relive the pain and humiliation she had felt that day and most of the time for the past few months. Pain that Owen had helped her to forget.

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and a gentle pressure on her upper back. She sighed, taking in his familiar masculine scent, and leaned back on him lightly. Cristina loved this familiarity and savored that she could sense Owen without seeing him now. He gently placed his hands on her head and lightly massed her temples, then let them drop onto her shoulders and gave her a quick kiss on the head.

"How are you?"

"Tired…" she said, closing her eyes.

"You want a drink or you just want to go home?"

"Just want to go home…" she said quietly, reaching up and entwining her hands with his, but then let out a sigh. "Oh crap, I forgot I told Meredith I would meet her for drinks tonight" Owen swung around and sat next to her on the bench.

"She'll understand if you're tired…"

"No…I'll meet up with her" a side of her mouth tugged upward for a second, then fell back down. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

"How was surgery?"

"Bad" Cristina answered simply. Owen felt even more concern, considering how Cristina had been looking forward to this surgery and how cardio made her giddy in any capacity.

"He must be a real ass" Cristina let out a low chuckle.

"Spot on" she said, nuzzling her head in closer to Owen's neck. It was an incredibly ability, really, the way he just seemed to suck negativity out of her and replacing it with…warmth. "How did you know he was here or that…well, about me and him?"

"Izzie Stevens was on my service today" Owen said with an exasperation that made Cristina laugh.

"That explains a lot" Cristina sighed again and looked at her fingers intertwined with Owen and looked at them carefully, preparing herself to breach the real cause of her mood. "It wasn't him that bothered me though it was…well, last time he came here it was right before my wedding. He tried to convince me the wedding could never happen, I'm not the marrying kind…"

Owen placed a hand around her waist and stroking it lightly, comforting her as much as he could with the light touch.

"And well, apparently he was right, and he has spent the day going out of his way to shove my face in how right he was. And I don't care about what he says…but I can't help but think that he might be right. I've been blaming Burke all this time, but maybe it really was me…"

"I'm going to punch this guy in the face" Owen said simply. Cristina laughed again. "You don't think I will? Because I will…"

"No…don't do that…_you _could probably kill him with a _look_"

"Well if you won't let me punch him…" Owen turned and straddled the bench, pulling her even closer and trapping her between his knees. "Cristina, even if you aren't the marrying kind, there's nothing _wrong_ with that. But it's about commitment, it's not about the flowers or the giant cake or the crappy music…it's about commitment, and you can do commitment, just look at you and Meredith…so to hell with the rest of it." Cristina looked up at him with a slightly crooked smile and the hint of a tear in her eye. Owen brushed her hair back on one side and kissed her. Lightly at first, but then pulled her in deeper, as if trying to suck the venom that had poisoned the deepest parts of her soul. He pulled away and then gave her a soft kiss on the hand he was holding.

"Come on, I'll walk you to Joe's"


	22. McRadish

Owen and Cristina were walking down the street towards Joe's; they weren't holding hands, but Owen had his arm slung casually around Cristina's shoulder and she had a hand slipped around his waist. Cristina noted how none of it felt forced, it was almost like they had been meant to fit together. Wait, no, that was much too romantic of a thought on a day she was supposed to be pissed…but it made her smile nonetheless.

"What?" Owen asked her, noting the sudden smile. He really was always watching her…the thought made her stomach do a soft flip.

"Nothing" she said, smiling wider.

"Fine…just tell me, am I going to be getting a 2am call from Joe telling me to pick your wasted ass up from the bar?"

"You won't…_I'll_ be calling you directly" she said jokingly.

"Alright" Owen responded with a more strikingly serious tone. He pulled open the door and held it open for her. Cristina was anything but a princess, but even she could appreciate a man who had been raised right, so all the times he held open doors or handed her a jacket when she was cold secretly made her fall harder and harder. They stepped into the bar together and Cristina scanned the room for Meredith, but she wasn't there yet.

"I don't think she's here yet…you can go, I'll just—" but before she could finish, Cristina heard Owen ordering himself a beer and a vodka tonic for her at the bar. She pulled herself onto a stool at a table nearby and rested her elbow on the table and her head in her propped hand, looking at him inquisitively. With all this Burke talk, she couldn't help but compare how her and Owen had grown in comparison to herself and Burke. Things just seemed so much more organic with Owen…maybe loving once made it easier to fall again, but when the first time ended so badly, you'd think she would have been repelled? She continued to watch him as he drummed his thumbs on the counter waiting for their drinks. He caught her looking and threw her one of his classic crooked smiles. The drinks popped up on the counter, he threw down some bills, and carried them over to her table.

"I bought you a drink, miss, is this seat taken?" he asked jokingly, placing her drink on the table.

"Actually…I'm waiting for my boyfriend, but you can keep the seat warm until he gets here…" He let out a small laugh and sat down. Cristina took a sip of her drink then sighed. "Mer is probably going to want to talk about McDreamy…"

"McDr--…is that what you call Shepherd?" Owen asked in amusement. "How old are you two?"

"I…yeah, well it's better than calling him by his stupid name" Cristina said, stirring the ice around in her drink.

"You don't like him?"

"You do?"

"I don't _dis_like him…you clearly do" Cristina let out another sigh and took another sip of her drink.

"Mer and I have been through a lot…so when I have to see him hurt her the way he has several times in the past, not that she's innocent in all of it…it just gets hard to forgive him. It's hard being there to commiserate for the bad stuff and then suddenly I'm supposed to forget that when she's happy with him…I can't forget as easily because I'm not in love with him, but she is" Owen nodded after looking at her intently and seeing her gulp more of her drink. He decided Cristina had had quite enough depressing introspection for one day and lightened the subject.

"So has Sloan got a name?"

"You're just going to laugh even more…"

"Good, more reason to tell me" Owen took a large gulp of beer. Cristina feigned an exasperated sigh but did feel her cheeks grow slightly red in spite of herself. Maybe she just knew this whole conversation would take her to him asking for his own nickname.

"McSteamy…" she said, trying hard not to either slap or kiss Owen's deliriously amused face.

"I think I misheard you, Dr. Yang…"

"Oh shut up, you heard perfectly well…" Owen edged himself closer to her and brushed her arm with his on the table.

"Now…if I'm allowed to ask…what's my name?"

"It's Owen Hunt, got amnesia?" Cristina thought her snark might buy her a few minutes and she could just hope that Meredith would show up in time to save her.

"My crazy girl-code name…" he said, leaning in even closer to her face.

"Who says you have one?" Cristina said indignantly, sipping the last bits of her drink. He let another laughing sigh.

"Tell me…" Cristina didn't know why it seemed so disastrously embarrassing for him to find out his Mc name…but she just couldn't tell him. What to do? Kiss! Kissing him would definitely shut him up. She leaned in towards his mouth with her best seductive look, but he pulled away and out of her reach. Given how much she knew he loved kissing, this meant something—he seriously wanted to know…and now that she had been expecting it and already had a strong cocktail warming her body, she really wanted to kiss him.

"What, no kissing until I tell you?"

"So there _is_ a name…"

"Fine. Yes. There's a name…" Cristina conceded and mumbled. "Mcpadis…"

"McRadish? Wow…so you focused on the red hair, huh?"

"Ugh no, not McRadish…McBadass" she annunciated more clearly this time, her embarrassment overtaken with disgust for the first name.

"McBadass…I like it" Owen leaning forward and gave her the kiss she had reached for earlier. They saw Meredith walk in the door and Owen stood up. "Call me if you need me...I'm going to crash at home…" Cristina grabbed his wrist.

"Wait…" she fumbled in her bag and pulled out her keys. "Don't drive all the way home…just crash at my place" Owen just stared at her for a moment. "These are my keys…I want them back at some point…I'm not keying you" she clarified.

"You really don't mind?"

"It's the least I can do to make up for the inevitable drunk dial you'll be getting later" Owen laughed, it wasso like Cristina to avoid intimate statements with humor.

"Thanks…I'll see you later then" he gave her another quick kiss on the lips and gave her right cheek one soft stroke. Meredith plopped herself in the stool across from Cristina just as his hand dropped.

"Meredith" Owen nodded to her.

"Owen" she acknowledged. His hand gave the back of Cristina's neck one last soft squeeze and he left. Meredith spotted the small smirk on Cristina's lips and shook her head lightly with a knowing smile. "That man can_not_ keep his hands off you"

"It's mutual" Cristina said simply.


	23. Needs

"So he knows about his McName…that's a big step" Meredith said mockingly, laughing as she took another sip of her Cosmopolitan.

"Seriously" Cristina mumbled, onto her third gin and tonic. "But he approved" Cristina had a large grin on her face that lingered after both of them had stopped talking.

"So today sucked?" For a minute Cristina looked at Meredith with puzzlement. Kissing and flirting with Owen had made her so light and happy that it had made her forget all that had happened before the locker room when Owen had whisked her away to the land of booze and body heat. She let out a sigh.

"Oh yeah...today sucked. But whatever…Marlowe's always been a jackass. He's a great surgeon …but as a person, he just sucks"

"Ah, you're differentiating between being a good surgeon and being a good person…this is also a big step" Meredith said, raising her glass in a mock toast to the moment.

"So you don't have McDreamy drama? You just wanted to talk about Marlowe?" Meredith nodded and swirled her drink with her straw.

"Really…you've got nothing?" Cristina asked skeptically. Meredith looked up at her guiltily.

"Well…I think Derek's going to propose"

"Hah! I knew there had to be something" Cristina said, smirking triumphantly. Cristina's thoughts flew back to Derek flashing a ring at her during her fight with Meredith.

"I found the ring…" Meredith replied in a depressed tone. Cristina stopped her right there and Cristina waved her finger in a circle at Joe, signaling for another round.

***

Cristina crept up her stairs and padded her pockets and checked for her keys. Her eyes were cloudy and not falling over took much more effort than it should.

"Where are my keys…" Cristina slurred. While fumbling in her purse she found her phone and called Owen.

"Are you drunk?" was the answer she got on the phone. She could hear that he had just woken up, but he was laughing.

"I'm sorry"

"That's not really an answer…but don't worry about it, you gave fair warning"

"Can you come to the door?"

"Of course" He hung up and several seconds later shook his head with a grin when he saw her standing there. Cristina felt her eyelids droop and her mouth hang open happily at the sight of him. "You could have rung the bell" Owen pulled Cristina into the room. Cristina quickly snuggled herself around his waist and took a deep breath inhaling his scent. Owen kissed her forehead and Cristina looked up at him, planting a warm kiss on his lips, and once it had broken off he couldn't help but laugh.

"Wow, how much does Joe make on you and Meredith?"

"Babe, over the past few years? We're putting Joe's children through college…"

"That's sweet of you…I guess the drunkenness is just a happy side-effect of your charity…" Owen said, giving her a crooked grin. Cristina tried to indignantly raise an eyebrow but it ended up just looking like a confused squint. She nuzzled into him again.

"Let's go to bed…" she said warmly.

"Only if you promise to drink all this water" Owen placed a glass of water on the counter. Cristina picked up the glass and pounded half of it, wiping her mouth when she finished. She finished the rest and then quickly grabbed Owen and led him back into her room. He stripped back into his boxers and noted Cristina struggling with her buttoned sweater.

"Damn…thing is…suffocating…me" she had the sweater off her body but stuck around her neck and head. Owen took half a second to appreciate the view before helping her pull it over her head. After getting into her pajamas and into bed, Cristina felt Owen pull her closer to him with his arm. He yawned into her hair.

"Derek's going to propose to Meredith" Cristina said suddenly, in an almost sober tone. She could feel Owen freeze.

"Yeah, Sloan mentioned that…" Owen said. "Or should I say McSteamy?"

"Ugh, I knew that was a mistake. And you are _so_ not allowed to use the names, it's just weird"

"Fine"

"And since when are you and _Sloan_ friends?"

"We're not…I don't know, he just tells me things…" She felt Owen shrug next to her. "You hate Sloan too? Do you hate _every_ male Attending at Seattle Grace?" He implored, his voice husky.

"Yeah, actually...I only make exceptions for redheads..." Owen laughed. "Anyway…Mer knows about it"

"Already?"

"She found the ring…she was freaking out. She has commitment issues…but I think she just wants to marry the damn guy already…it's been so long…"

"What do you think?" Owen asked, his voice somewhat strangled.

"I think…I don't know" she said lamely, turning to him. "If you want to be with someone, just be with them, right? When you start conforming and adding all these rules and whatever, that's when things…" she left the statement lie unfinished and hanging in the air above them, but she closed her eyes and her head found itself in the nook of his shoulder.

"So you think she should say no?"

"No…"

"You think she should say yes?"

"Maybe…" Owen felt her shrug. There was a pause.

"Does it bother you?"

"What?" she mumbled into his chest.

"That Meredith might be getting married soon?"

"Why would it bother me?" Cristina asked lightly. Both of them had their eyes closed, but Owen just let her digest the question again. She _knew_ why it would bother it her. He let his silence coax her into an honest answer. Cristina sighed. "Yes, it bothers me…" Owen raised a hand and gently stroked Cristina's hair. "She's my person and…I'm worried about him hurting her…again"

"And?" Cristina paused for a moment as if chewing over her thought.

"And I'm worried that she won't need me anymore…"

"I know how much you love her…trust me, the friendship of Cristina Yang and Meredith Grey is legendary at Seattle Grace…I overheard Dr. Bailey saying that the two of you come as a set" Cristina let out one laugh. "But it goes both ways…she'll always need you"

"I hope so" Cristina opened her eyes and looked up at Owen. Cristina would always need Meredith, but she realized in that moment that she would always need Owen too. Cristina kissed his shoulder and closed her eyes again. Within minutes Cristina heard a light snore from Owen and she smiled at the thought of falling asleep to that deep breath every night.


	24. Connections

**This will probably be the last update for a little while (I'm usually only particularly inspired over hiatuses). But hopefully the new episodes will keep us all satiated (though that seems impossible!). Enjoy the chapter (oh--and there is a large reference to Chapter 19 "Drawing" in this chapter, that will probably confuse you if you don't remember it, since I know I take forever to update!). **

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Cristina's eyes peeked open hours later. The sun was shining into her room and Owen was sitting next to her drinking coffee and reading the paper. She registered that neither of them were on today and the thought made her happy. It had been the reason she wanted him to stay in her apartment…a lazy morning with him in her bed didn't come along often. She flipped onto her back and soon realized that this morning might not be as lovely as she had thought. A dull ache in her forehead stung and the unsettled feeling in her stomach stirred. She groaned. Owen looked at her after putting down the paper.

"How're you feeling?" Cristina groaned in response. "Hmm…head or stomach?"

"Both" she muttered, pulling herself closer to Owen and putting her head in his lap. He placed a hand on her temple applied slight pressure. Cristina felt some of the ache go away just from his touch, but a great deal still remained.

"Ginger ale…and menthol rub?"

"Mmmmm" was the only response Cristina managed. He came back moments later with the mentioned items. Cristina took a few sips of ginger ale and then lay down while Owen gave her a light forehead rub with the menthol. "Oh god that feels good…thank you"

"So now you are wondering if the drinking is really worth the hangover" Owen said lightly, finally removing his hands from her head and draping one on her back.

"I would say that I never want to drink again, but I'd be lying" she said drowsily.

*******************

The next morning, having eventually gotten over her hangover and taking full advantage of having Owen in her bed all day, Cristina was just finished changing in the locker room when Izzie came in. She had a determined expression on her face but also a sadness that lay underneath.

"Cristina…I need to talk to you"

"Izzie, I'm not going to do arts and crafts with you tonight" Cristina said, slightly annoyed . Izzie had pestered the other residents about helping to teach the interns with fun games. Cristina could not be less interested.

"No, Cristina…it's really important. I have to tell you something" she said more forcefully. "It's about…" Izzie took a deep breath. "I'm sick" Cristina sat down on the bench.

"Okay" Cristina managed, looking concerned but trying not to look frightened. Izzie went into the details of her brain illness with Cristina, trying to sound detached and clinical—but they both knew enough to be sure that the prognosis was not good. Cristina vaguely registered the irony that this was the one time Izzie was able to keep a certain emotional distance from her patient—herself. Izzie finished and Cristina gulped.

"Who knows about this?" Izzie sighed and looked away.

"So far…" she turned back to Cristina. "You." Cristina felt herself grow dizzy with the weight of the moment.

"I…when…I mean, are you telling anyone else?"

"Cristina, I'm telling you because you're strong. I mean, we've never really gotten along... but I'm afraid about breaking the others…you're strong, Cristina…"

"What do you want me to do?"

"You don't have to do anything right now. I just needed to tell someone. But for now it's just you. Don't tell anyone…seriously, you can_not_ tell Meredith."

"I—"

"Cristina, this is not the time for you to talk about how your Person thing with Meredith trumps whatever…I don't think I've ever asked you for much. _Please_, do not tell Meredith. For her own good…" Cristina sighed and looked down. There was a long pause. Cristina stood up and Izzie joined her.

"Don't read into this" she said simply.

"Read into w—" Izzie started, but was cut off as Cristina gently but rapidly put her arms around Izzie. She was shocked that Cristina "No Touchy" Yang was hugging her, but a few seconds later a couple a tear fell down Izzie's face. Cristina removed her arms as quickly as she had put them there and she gave Izzie a tiny hint of a consoling smile before walking out.

*********************

Cristina dropped her tray onto the cafeteria table and stirred her coffee while leaning on her hand, elbow propped on the table. She knew she didn't have a good poker face on, but this was heavy. This was Izzie on the fast track to death. And she couldn't talk to anyone. Part of Cristina burned with anger at Izzie trapping her in this little bubble of secrecy. She couldn't deal with this now…or ever. She was strong, yeah…but even she didn't know how handle this.

"Are you freaking out?" Meredith asked, plopping her tray next to Cristina with a sigh. Cristina shot up.

"What are you…about what?" Cristina asked, eyes wide.

"You know…the whole potential engagement thing" Meredith whispered the last part. "I mean, I know I am…but does it freak you out too?" Cristina realized Meredith didn't know and went back to morosely stirring her coffee. This was going to be so hard to deal with...without Meredith.

"Yeah whatever. Nothing will change…you will still bitch to me about McDreamy's morning breath or whatever…you'll just have a ring and a certificate"

"What great perspective you have, grandmother" Meredith said, laughing and eating a forkful of salad.

"The better to shut you up with, my dear"

*********************

Owen walked up his stairs to find Cristina leaning against his door looking very tired.

"Hey" he said, coming up to her, and giving her a quick kiss. "How long have you been waiting here?"

"Not very" Cristina said quietly. "I figured you'd be back soon." Owen opened the door and Cristina followed after him.

"Tough day?" he asked her. She just nodded and he pulled her into his chest. She lightly rubbed his back in return. After a moment, Owen tried to pull away but Cristina had balled up his shirt in her fists and was not letting go. "Are you okay?"

"Yes…yes, I'm fine" Cristina said, letting go and flashing him a very quick smile. She went to the fridge to get a drink, but more as an excuse for him to not see the tear that had dripped down her face. What Izzie had told her was messing with her in ways she hadn't even thought. It made her think about how people leave all the time. Her father had died in her arms, Burke had left her at the Church, now Izzie was... Cristina couldn't pretend she had ever gotten along with Izzie, but they were family—right? Involuntarily, her morbid thoughts drifted to Owen. She hated herself for thinking about it. She remembered the time she had broken down and told Burke to not ever die. Turns out it hadn't taken death to separate them. She wanted to make Owen promise to never die…or leave, but she felt stupid. Another tear fell down her cheek, this time it was angry. She was angry that she cared, that Owen had made it absolutely impossible to shut him out like she had planned to do with all men post-Burke. Suddenly she felt Owen at her side, wiping the tear away with his thumb as he cupped her face. The warmth and comfort of his touch made it all that more unbearable to think about losing him.

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" he asked quietly. Cristina knew she couldn't lie about being upset, but she didn't have to tell him. But she wanted to…but she didn't want to bring up death to someone that had experience it so brutally…but she had to be able to say these things to him if they were going to last. And they had to last, because she knew that he was _it_ for her. This was it. She took a deep breath, steadying herself so she wouldn't cry, and looked at him.

"I'm just afraid of losing you" Cristina said simply. Owen felt a bittersweet punch in the gut. He felt the wind knocked out of him…and he had no idea what to say. He knew better than anyone that people could be lost that didn't want to be. Cristina was feeling sillier with each second that he remained silent. What a stupid thing to say a few months after being with someone, she thought, the only thing more idiotic would have been to say—

"I'm in love with you" Owen said. Her eyes grew wide, as did his-- as if he hadn't had control over what he was saying. "I'm in love with you, Cristina" he repeated, loving the way it sounded and the rapidly softening look on her face. "If you love someone, you never leave."

"Owen…" she started uncertainly, but then looking him in the eyes. "I'm in love with you." They kissed softly for a moment. Then a moment passed and of all the things to do, Owen laughed.

"I knew you loved me" he said with the glee of someone finally able to tell a secret.

"Cocky bastard…" Cristina said, swatting his arm playfully.

"No seriously…" he said. To her surprise he turned her around in his arms and held her slightly in front of him. Cristina's face expressed her confusion.

"What are you—" she started, but gasped as she felt Owen creep his hand slowly up her back and slowly trace "I…L…O…V…" and Cristina turned around with her jaw dropped. Owen kept his arms around her underneath her shirt and kissed her passionately, his hands roaming and helping themselves to as much of her as he could touch.

"What can I say, I'm very perceptive to your touch" they both grinned at each other. Cristina nuzzled herself back into his chest. Sometimes it felt like the only safe place in the world. He draped his arms over her shoulders and brought his mouth by her ear, tickling it lightly with his beard, and he whispered "It would take a whole hell of a lot to keep me from your side, Cristina. I'm not going anywhere". And she knew he was right.


	25. Secrets

**It has been hard out there for a C/O fan lately (only 2 minutes of screentime after 3 weeks off and if spoilers are any indication of where we are going...) and fan fiction updates are hard to come by when the show is not on hiatus...so consider this an Ides of March present for yours truly. Enjoy! :)  
**

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Owen had just started a brew of coffee in his apartment and seemed to be practicing saying something to himself, under his breath. He had something shiny and metallic balled up tightly in his fist. Something like this was a big deal to a guy like him, but Cristina's revelation to him the night before had finally given him the courage to do it. He just hoped he wouldn't scare her off.

"'Morning…" Cristina mumbled, stumbling into the kitchen. Her eyes were almost completely closed, her hair tousled, and his dark green tee-shirt that she had worn to bed was hanging asymmetrically off her shoulder as if in an homage to the 1980s. Owen hastily turned around and fought to look calm; but this was why he was doing this. He wanted her to be around, mumbling and walking around grumpily in his tee-shirt like this, every morning.

"Good morning…" he said, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"You are _way_ to awake right now…" she mumbled. "What's in your hand?"

"You…should have your coffee first" Owen said simply, handing her favorite mug to her. "Then I'll tell you about it." Cristina conceded and after the coffee had substantially improved her mood, or at least the ability to speak above a murmur, she persisted.

"So what gives?" she asked, motioning to his fist.

"It's something I want to give you" he said at first. He seemed to be trying to recall his earlier rehearsed lines, but appeared to ditch it at the last moment. "Cristina…I just think…after last night, it's silly that you have to wait outside my door…" He placed a key on the counter next to her. "It's a key…to here. And I want you to have it." He took a gulp of coffee to distract himself in waiting for her response. Cristina looked at the key for a moment, then back up at Owen.

"So this key is just a key?"

"Um…yes" Owen answered, slightly puzzled. "What else would it be?"

"Nevermind" Cristina smiled vaguely to herself. Apparently she didn't mind behind keyed _after_ coffee so much. She took the key and added it to her ring as Owen watched her and smiled.

"Which reminds me…I never really returned your key from the other night" he took it out of his pocket and placed it on the counter. Cristina eyed it and shifted uncomfortably. She'd never keyed anyone before. She looked up at Owen, who was sipping his coffee again and looking completely relaxed.

"I…uh" she started nervously. "I had another copy made because…yeah, you might as well keep it because I don't need it…and in case I lose mine or something, it would be good if I had a spare…" Owen smirked knowingly at Cristina and shook his head slightly.

"I'll just hold onto it then" he swiped the key off the counter and put it back in his pocket. "I have to go in now…meet me at Joe's after?" He leaned over and brushed his beard slightly against her neck before kissing her neck softly. Cristina gasped.

"Well when you put it that way…" she chuckled and put her hands on his face, making him look at her. "I've never keyed anyone before" she said softly with a sense of wonder in her voice. Owen just gave her a look that spoke volumes before kissing her more deeply and heading out the door.

************

The two of them were in a quiet corner of Joe's with a beer and a vodka tonic in front of both of them. Owen had his arm draped across her shoulders while she had her hand on his thigh. Cristina mused as to how this had become their default position when sitting together, because it just _fit _so naturally.

"I hate secrets" Cristina said in a sigh. Owen just looked at her imploringly. "I don't like keeping secrets. I've done secrets and they only end badly"

"Do you think I have a secret or something?" Owen asked lightly.

"No, no…that's not it" Cristina said, looking up at him while entwining her free hand with the hand he had draped across her shoulder. "_I_ have a secret…well—it's not mine, it's a friend's secret…they snuck up to me with this secret, and now I have to keep it but…it's too much." She sighed again.

"Why did they tell you? They need help with something?"

"No…they just needed to tell someone. Now…now I _want_ to help, but they won't let me. And I can't even tell Meredith, they specifically said I couldn't tell Meredith." A moment passed.

"That must be hard for you…I've noticed a very distinct lack of filter between you two" Owen said, trying to lighten the mood. Not thinking she should betray her friend's secret, he changed the subject. "Has Shepherd proposed yet, by the way?"

"If he has, then Mer hasn't told me yet"

"I doubt he has then…I'm not even sure about whether or not he will now…at least for a little while" Cristina cocked her head at him inquisitively. "He sounds like he's in a dark place…after that patient and the fight with Sloan that I had to break up"

"_You _broke that fight up?" Cristina asked, surprised she hadn't heard this earlier. Owen nodded and Cristina laughed. For a moment she fantasized about Owen throwing Pretty and Prettier off each other, oozing manliness as he did.

"What?"

"Oh...sometimes I really think you are the _only_ man at Seattle Grace" Owen just smirked and felt the heat in his body rise and Cristina's hand slid down from his thigh to his knee and gave it a squeeze.

"Anyway…I heard he's got a lawsuit and that he's going to quit" Owen said in a heavy tone. "Not the note you want to propose to someone on"

"No…I don't know how Mer is going to deal with it either…he's usually the one pushing the commitment and whatever…now it's up to her to follow him into the dark place…she texted me saying that she was going to his trailer because he moved all his stuff out of her house…" Cristina paused and sipped her drink. "I _knew_ he'd break her again" Cristina spat out the last line bitterly. They both took a sip of their drinks and changed the subject.

*******************

Owen held the back door to Joe's open as she walked through and he followed her. Cristina suddenly stopped and coyly took Owen's hand, drawing herself into him. He looked slightly puzzled, but mostly amused.

"Do you remember the first time we here?" Cristina asked, lifting his hand up and rubbing his palm with her thumb.

"I…" Owen gave out a half laugh, half sigh and looked away. He looked ashamed and Cristina swore that the tips of his ears had twinged red. "I do…but I'd rather not"

"I would, that was a hot kiss" Cristina said playfully. Owen gave her a look, cocking his head downwards, telling her to drop the topic. "When are you going to get that I'm not delicate? I'm tough"

"It's not about you being delicate…it was about be not being in control of myself…" he paused. "That was a rough day for me…did I ever apologize for that?" he asked, embarrassed.

"You waited at my doorstep and told me you thought I was beautiful" Cristina said simply.

"I'm sorry" he said ruefully, staring at their intertwined fingers. Cristina just looked back at him and shook her head almost imperceptibly. Owen was way too hard on himself sometimes.

"I have an idea" she said suddenly.

"What are you—" Owen started as Cristina let go of his hand and stood a few feet away from him. He put his arm out to regain a hold on her hand. But she folded her arms across her chest.

"Tell me you need me" she said.

"Cristina, this—" she stopped him with a look. "You're a strange woman…" he said, shaking his head and rubbing the back of his neck.

"So?" she said, trying to hide a grin. He sighed with a tiny grin.

"Fine…" he took a deep breath and looked at her. "I need you" he said quietly. Cristina felt her breath catch for a moment. She knew she had told him to say it…but it felt good to hear, nonetheless.

"Again" Cristina put her hands on his chest and lightly shoved Owen backwards, toward the wall.

"I need you…"

"Again" she pushed him closer to the wall.

"I need you" Owen said, and Cristina kept her arms on his chest as she felt him pressed against the wall. Their faces were an inch apart, and Cristina could feel his warm breath on her face. "I need you" he whispered one last time on her lips. Owen stared at her hungrily but fought the urge to kiss her. Cristina shuddered, then gave him a once over and lunged at him with her mouth, closing the small distance between them. They crashed together. She put her hands around his neck, he snaked an hand lightly around the back of her neck, their mouths gasping for more of each other. They broke apart and Cristina just held Owen's head in her hands and stroked his cheek with her finger.

"There" Cristina said. "Now we're even". She took his hand and they continued walking down of the alley. Owen mused at how determined she was to make him lighten up on himself; he only wished he could find out what this burdening secret was, without her breaking her promise to her friend, so he could help her.


	26. Rants

Cristina was scrubbing vigorously at her hands after leaving her first solo surgery. She was mad…fuming angry mad. After her momentary freeze before surgery and blurting out Izzie's secret, she had felt relieved and absolutely rocked her first surgery. That's why she was mad. She had been dreaming about this moment since she started here as an intern, and stupid melanoma had come and rained on her parade. More like monsooned. She should have been ecstatic and gloating…but instead, as soon as the surgery had ended, the momentary relief was replaced with doubt, anxiety, and more anger.

She dabbed her hands with the towel and took a breath to stem the other flow of her anger. Owen hadn't been there for her solo surgery. She had looked up right before she started her first cut, and when he wasn't there. Cristina couldn't bear to look up another time. If she had looked up a second time and not seen him, it would have hurt too much and distracted her. After another breath she pushed herself out of the scrub room to see Owen leaning against the wall, staring at the floor.

He looked up once she left and his eyes carried a mix of joy and sadness. She just looked at him and cocked her head to the side, trying not to let herself show too much emotion, though seeing him now, she felt her chin tremble. Owen lightly guided her into the nearest on-call room and locked the door behind them--she didn't fight it.

"You were amazing. I knew you would be" he held her close and kissed her cheek. "I'm sorry about your friend"

"But…but you weren't there…" she said, pushing against his chest lightly. It was more as a question than a statement.

"I came a couple minutes into the surgery. I was delayed…but I can tell you about that later. I'm sorry you thought I wasn't there, but I was. One of the interns told me about what you said to Karev…" Cristina wrapped her arms around him and dug her face into his chest. Cristina began to wonder why she had ever doubted him. He only ever wanted to _be_ there for her. Why would today be any different? Once she finally let go, Owen sat down on the edge of the bed and crossed his arms. "Okay, now go"

"What do you mean?" her throat felt tight at the energy it was taking to keep herself from bursting like a dam.

"I mean, go. Rant…whatever you want. I can tell you want to say some things…say whatever you want"

"I don't need to say anything…" Cristina said quietly to herself, starting to pace. "I don't _need _to say anything…" Owen cocked his head to the side curiously. She finally turned to Owen with angry tears in her eyes. "Except…that I am so mad at Izzie. I'm mad at her. I'm mad that she tricked me into keeping her secret and forced me to keep this burden and wouldn't let me help her or let me tell anyone. She trapped me! I neglected my patient all day because I had all this stupid Izzie crap in my head and scheduling appointments for her…so finally I tell Alex and Bailey and I should feel relieved, I did, but what? Now all that's different is that _other_ people know she has a 5% chance of surviving. And as much as I'm mad at her, I want her to take treatment…and I want her to fight. But in the all too likely event that she dies, where does that leave us?! George, Meredith, Alex…they'll all be broken. Broken beyond repair…which would leave me, with three broken people and nothing I can do about it" Cristina wiped away a few tears and shook her head vigorously.

Owen looked up at her with pained eyes. He slowly slid his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. She leaned against his chest and he nuzzled his head onto her shoulder.

"And what about you?"

"What about me? Izzie told me because she thought I could take it…because I'm the robot" on her last word, Cristina's voice cracked and she let out one sob.

"A robot would rust if it cried this much"

"I don't cry!" Cristina said emphatically, holding herself back from brushing away a tear that tickled her cheek, seeing as that might slightly weaken her argument.

"She told you because she knew you would do the right thing. You wanted to help her, so you found ways to help her. When she refused, you went for reinforcements. That's smart. You're smart…I'd come to you first in a crisis too"

"That's because you have no friends" Cristina said, tugging on his earlobe playfully.

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong. And the reason I was slightly late. I have a newfound appreciation for the rigor of your intern year since I ran into your resident, Dr. Bailey" Cristina snorted at the image of the short Dr. Bailey shouting orders at Owen, her superior both in size and rank. "She had me go into the woods to bring Dr. Shepherd back…"

"Oh…you're friends with Shepherd now?" Cristina said dully.

"And Dr. Torres…we had a nice talk. Well I wouldn't call it nice…but we talked, about patients and pain…I left once the Chief showed up. It had gotten ugly. When we left, the last thing I heard was Derek shrieking the Chief's name and something that sounded like he had punched something"

"He's deep in the wilderness…metaphorically and literally" Cristina said.

"Anyway…are you feeling better? Do you want me to do anything? I've got contacts for consults if you want them…"

"Maybe…" Cristina said, kissing deeply and soaking in his warmth. "I love you" she mumbled into his neck.

"Don't ever forget it" Cristina stood up and Owen followed. "Let me make you dinner tonight"

"Of course" Cristina smiled at him. Cristina checked her pager as it went off. "Actually, looks like the news is hitting…I will call you, I'm not sure when I'll be off…"

"Cristina, you are anything but a robot" Owen whispered. He kissed her on the forehead before they both left the room.


	27. Support

Izzie had just fallen asleep, so Meredith and Cristina left her room after each giving her hand a small squeeze of assurance. After the door closed behind them, Meredith let out a sigh.

"I have to get Derek to operate on her…I looked at her films. He's one of very few that can do it…I have to get him back in here"

"Um…are you sure he's the best option right now?" Cristina said in a low voice. "Honestly, he's been out playing Grizzly Adams for a while…I heard about the facial hair, clearly he's not in the right state of mind"

"He's the best, Cristina. The best. Don't make this about how much you hate him" Meredith said shortly.

"I'm not…you make sure this is about Izzie and not about wanting him to get back to normal"

"It's not. I swear, it's not. I'm going out there and making him come back. He called me…he probably feels like an ass for the other day, or at least he better. I'm just going to go over and plop these films down and tell him to come to work"

"Whatever you say" Cristina said, shrugging. And they went their separate ways.

************

"Shepherd is going to do Izzie's surgery. I think I should be worried…" Cristina said, chewing on a carrot stick and she took her time helping Owen cut the vegetables. When he cooked for her, the only way she enjoyed helping was cutting—not exactly a surprise.

"I've talked to him. He's fine…he's snapped back from wherever he was. People can bounce back from these things…I did. I mean, he might be nervous, I think he would have been in any case since he would be operating on a friend of Meredith's. But his hands are still steady…she'll be fine"

"Do you always have so much faith in people?" Cristina asked, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder with curiosity.

"I try…you need to believe in people sometimes or you will go crazy" Owen said, giving the onions he was sautéing a couple tosses in the pan. "You'd be surprised how often people rise to meet them"

*************

Cristina was pacing frantically waiting to hear about Izzie's surgery, as were the other three residents from their intern group. Owen noted just how anguished Karev looked and began to think him and Izzie Stevens were more than friends. An even greater wave of compassion came over Owen; he walked past the growing group of anxious coworkers and put a hand on Karev's shoulder. He seemed surprised but his expression did not change nor did he move except for a surreptitious nod of his head. Owen nodded and moved past him to pulled Cristina way from her pacing and over to the wall with him.

"Just breathe, please" Owen said, holding her hand.

"I am. I'm fine" Cristina said, but neither of them believed her words. Suddenly Dr. Bailey came out of the doors and the group rushed towards her firing questions. She assured them that the surgery was a success (to which Owen noted a glowing look of pride on Meredith's face and Karev looked like he could finally breath and O'Malley just looked pale and ready to pass out) and that they could visit her in a few hours once she had had time to recover. Owen walked up behind Cristina, where she had moved to hear Dr. Bailey, and he felt her lean back against him to steady herself.

"So far so good" she whispered. Owen gave the back of her neck a comforting squeeze.

"Yeah…so far so good"

******************

"Do you think the spawn of Satan eat apples?" Cristina asked, inspecting an apple from the cafeteria. Meredith threw her a scolding look. The kind she gave when she thought Cristina was being too insensitive.

"You could be nicer to him, you know, he's going through a rough time" Meredith said.

"No" Cristina said simply, deciding to get the apple. The two of them had gone down to get lunch and were bringing back food for Alex who decided to stay with Izzie. "That's not how we work…the worst thing I could do to him is be nice to him. He doesn't want a pity party and neither would I"

"Fine" Meredith said, now seeming distracted.

"Mer…I'm going to say something to you, but you cannot squeal or giggle or have any other annoying reactions"

"Cristina, have I _ever _squealed? Ever?"

"No…and I'm deeply grateful for that. I remember why I'm telling you now" Cristina cleared her throat significantly and sighed. "Apocalypse--I told Owen I love him…"

"I got engaged ten minutes ago" Meredith blurted out, her eyes growing wide once she finished. Cristina laughed.

"Who would've thought commitment-phobic Meredith would get engaged?"

"Or that emotionally-walled Cristina would ever fall in love again?"

"Or that Evil Spawn would be a devoted boyfriend?" Cristina added.

"Speaking of which, I bet he's hungry" the two of them walked over the elevator and Meredith smiled at Cristina. "Can I tell you how he proposed?"

*********************

Cristina walked into Owen's apartment to find him asleep on his couch with a medical journal on his stomach. She smiled and moved it, noting the page he had left it open on. She wiggled his big toe to which he opened his eyes and smiled at her.

"Come here" he pulled her on top of him. She pressed herself into his chest and her curls sprawled across it as well as onto his neck. She wrapped her legs around his and he stroked her back lightly. Cristina sighed and let her eyes drift closed.

"Meredith's engaged" she said peacefully.

"I heard. Shepherd is very excited. He's happy"

"She's happy. I'm happy…for them" Cristina resigned, as Owen moved his hand from his back up to her into her curls.

"Are you going to be Maid of Honor?" Owen asked laughing, which caused Cristina to bounce slightly as his chest moved.

"Well, on the one hand I would rather be caught dead than be in a stupid bride's maid outfit and me doing public speeches generally end with someone in hysterical tears…and not the good kind" Cristina paused and sighed. "On the other hand, I want to be the one next to her when she's getting married"

"Maybe you can look past the stupid outfit just for one day?" Owen suggested. "I'm going to be a groom's man"

"Mmmmm" Cristina murmured, stroking one of his legs with her own. "You're going to wear a tux then, huh?"

"Probably…"

"You will look like James Bond in a tuxedo…I can't wait"

"I can't wait to see you in the stupid bride's maid outfit. Your face will be priceless" Owen said, laughing again. Cristina raised her head to glare at him. "Oh…and you'll be beautiful, of course" Cristina just laughed and part of her could not block out the image of her and Owen walking down the aisle together…at some point.

********************

Cristina could not believe that it was the night before Meredith's wedding. A few nights ago they had Meredith's low-key bachelorette party. Cristina was going to try a plan something bigger (for all her dislike of weddings, Cristina could firmly support bachelorette parties), but Meredith explained that most of her life had been a bachelorette party…no need to plan one just when she had finally gotten her act together. Izzie had even been well enough to sit in a booth with them at Joe's, although she was only sipping on apple juice and watching everyone with amusement. Callie and Arizona were dancing on their own make-shift dance floor, if anyone had learned something about those two it was that they loved to dance. It had been a good night and now Meredith was going to get married.

Cristina was lying next to Owen in his bed, staring at the ceiling. He put down his book and looked over at her.

"Thinking about tomorrow?"

"Yeah…" Cristina acknowledged, looking over at him. "Her getting married…it just makes me think"

"That's fair" he said, throwing an arm around her as she snuggled in closer to him. "Tomorrow's a big day"

"Yes…tomorrow is going to change everything"


	28. Wedding

**Just so no one gets confused—last night Cristina and Owen weren't going to sleep, they were just hanging out on his bed. This chapter picks up after that in the evening. Anyway, this is a big chapter so I don't feel bad about not updating for a little while (finals, graduation stuff, plus all new episode until the end of the season to keep up busy!).**

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The rehearsal dinner had just ended and now everyone had migrated to Meredith's house for a night cap. However soon enough Alex took Izzie upstairs to help her into bed, Lexie was too giddy to sleep but had run up to prep some more for the next day, and Owen and Cristina had made their way to the door. Owen's eyes slid to the side and he felt that Cristina wanted a moment with Meredith. Even just a quick minute, for them to have a "Person" thing right before the wedding. Derek must have picked up on the same note because both men shook hands.

"Congratulations, I'll see you both tomorrow" Owen said, while Derek and Meredith thanked him. "Cristina, I'll be in the car" He kissed her cheek and walked out the door. Cristina smiled.

"Good night, Cristina. I'll see you tomorrow" Derek said, nodding to her. "I'll see you upstairs, Meredith." He went up the stairs. Finally they were alone.

"So it's tomorrow" Cristina said.

"Yeah" Meredith replied simply.

"Yeah"

"I should get some sleep"

"Good luck" Cristina snorted, remembering how little she had slept the night before her would-be wedding. "So you're really doing this." It wasn't a question, but a statement. A supportive one.

"I am"

"Good night" They turned and Cristina left while Meredith ran upstairs.

**************

"Meredith, it is such a nice day. You are so lucky to have such nice weather on your wedding day! I think it's a good sign" Lexie was practically bouncing up and down while her, Izzie, Meredith, and Cristina rode in the limo together. Cristina thought _Izzie_ was giddy but this girl was off the charts. She wondered if this made Meredith regret asking her to be in the bridal party. It _had_ to, right?

"I thought _rain_ was good luck for weddings" Cristina said in a snide tone.

"You're enough of a rain cloud for that then" Lexie pouted. Meredith rolled her eyes, while Izzie just stared out the window with a smile. Cristina threw Lexie a look that finally shut her up. Yeah, she still had it. Cristina started to anticipate what the wedding would be like. Her mind didn't wander long before it imagined what Owen would be looking like…in his tuxedo. She wasn't kidding when she had said she was excited to see him wearing it. Cristina silently thanked Meredith for picking a color scheme that didn't make her puke and let each bridesmaid choose a style that fit them. The dress was pale green, sweetheart neckline and a skirt that hung just to her knees. She wasn't much for fashion jargon, but that was what the seamstress told her. She memorized it so she could rattle it off to people when they asked and move on to a more interesting topic. Her hand flew up to her bun for a moment, to make sure everything was in place. The stylist had given her a bun and it had made her laugh. Owen was going to flip.

"Cristina, you're _preening_ for Dr. Hunt" Izzie said, bemused. The other women laughed as Cristina's hand withdrew sharply and landed in her lap.

"Ugh, whatever" Cristina said, rolling her eyes. She grew warm when she realized that Izzie and Meredith were exchanging significant looks behind her back. Whatever, a girl wasn't allowed to fix her hair now?

**************

"I don't know what to do with my face" Meredith was panicking behind the doors to the Church. Lexie was beaming at her.

"It is so sweet that you're nervous. It's going to be okay" she told her, nodding vigorously.

"Okay…" Meredith said, the same giant fake smile plastered on her face. "_Still_ don't know what to do with my face"

"Don't worry, Mer. Just relax. When you see Derek's face you'll stop thinking about it so much and it will be a natural glow" Izzie said, patting her on the shoulder as they lined up.

"Oh god" was all Meredith managed. "I'm not romantic like you guys, I can't—" Cristina stood in front of Meredith. She grabbed Meredith's forearm and Meredith responded with a death grip onto Cristina's.

"Breathe" Cristina said quietly and she heard Meredith exhale and with it went the insane fake smile. "Just breathe, smile, and kick ass." They let go of each other and Meredith laughed. "You can do this"

Meredith went to the side as the door opened and the three bride's maids walked down the aisle. First Lexie, then Izzie, then finally Cristina took her first half steps down the aisle. It was a strange feeling, finally walking down the aisle. Her eyes drifted over to Owen who looked like he was holding his breath when she finally made eye contact with him. He looked so good in his tuxedo that Cristina found it hard not to start laughing and head right over to him and drag him to the nearest confessional and…oh, and these fantasies only got more vivid when he winked at her. Cristina smiled and to keep from doing anything embarrassing she tore her eyes away from him and scanned the room. She saw a lot of familiar faces from the hospital and one face that she swore was…but no, that was just her wedding messing with her head. Once she had reached the steps, she turns around and saw Owen again. Cristina wondered just how she was going to keep herself from jumping him through this ceremony.

The ceremony, surprisingly, went off without a hitch. No angry ex-spouses or bitter co-workers yelled out to stop the wedding at the last moment and neither Derek nor Meredith ran away at the last minute. They both looked ecstatic and even a hardcore badass like Cristina had to fight to keep a tear from falling when they finally left the Church together.

Owen watched as Cristina accepted Mark's hand as he offered it to her to escort her back down the aisle. While he knew he had no reason to be jealous, part of him still couldn't wait until they would separate at the end of the aisle. In turn, Owen offered his arm to Izzie Stevens and helped to escort her down the aisle, which took considerably more effort as she had to place more weight on him to steady herself.

"You look happy" Mark said to Cristina as they started down the aisle.

"I _am_ happy" she replied. Mark couldn't help but laugh.

"A lesser woman would crumble. You're tough" he said with a hint of admiration.

"Shut up" she said with a snort. Mark sighed and resigned himself to a compliment.

"Anyway, you _do_ look lovely today, Dr. Yang"

"I know" she replied with a small laugh. "And I'm not sleeping with you." Mark rolled his eyes as they reached the end of the aisle and let go of each other. "Enjoy your afternoon, Dr. Sloan"

"How are you holding up?" Owen asked Izzie quietly, though he was visually distracted by the rear view of Cristina and the way she had just given a small laugh.

"I'll be better when I can sit down at this reception…I'm tired" she said. Izzie smiled as she noted how distracted Owen was and followed his line of vision to see a huge smile on Cristina's face. Izzie shook her head.

"Owen" she started. It was the first time she had called him that, but she felt odd calling him Dr. Hunt at a social event. He faced her in response. "I have to tell you that I have never seen Cristina so happy. And it is particularly amazing considering this is a wedding. Of her best friend and the man she hates, nonetheless" Owen smiled and let his head hang in bemusement. Cristina and Mark had let go of each other at the end of the aisle.

"She doesn't hate Derek. She's just hard on people sometimes…I'm sure you know that" Izzie observed him for a moment as they reached the end of the aisle as well. Cristina was walking towards them.

"You're good for her" Izzie said and smiled. Owen smiled back.

"Thank you" Owen gave her a nod.

******************

Cristina had finally gotten a chance to sit down when she felt someone brush behind her chair, just barely grazing her upper back and neck. She knew who it was, of course, and a smile reached her face. Owen sat next to her and put and hand on her thigh and gave her neck and soft kiss. Cristina bit her lip to keep from giggling when his beard tickled her neck.

"I've barely seen you all day" Owen said against her skin in the low husky voice he saved just for her. "This is not what I signed up for" Cristina smiled at him. "Care to dance?" Cristina was going to say no, but suddenly her feet didn't feel quite so tired. And the Norah Jones song that was playing happened to be one of her favorites—although she would never admit to liking something that required a slow dance.

"Sure" she answered, taking his hand. Once they reached the dance floor, where only a few other couples were swaying, Cristina pulled Owen closed to her and put her arms around his neck, resting her cheek against his chest. Owen had his face nuzzled against the side of her hair; while he had to admit the scent was more foreign today—masked with various styling sprays and what not—somewhere in the mix was the familiar scent of her conditioner.

"It was a nice wedding, huh?" Owen commented, one of his fingers wrapping itself around one of the curls from her bun.

"It was. I even managed to keep this stupid dress on…" Cristina groaned, even though she really didn't mind the look all that much.

"Don't worry" Owen laughed, suddenly dropping his voice down to the husky tone that he always used when implying something sexual that he wanted her to pick up on. "If my plans for tonight pan out, you won't have to put up with that dress much longer." Cristina raised an eyebrow at him suggestively and smirked. The next few songs picked up and after some lively dancing (not all of it good), they were both hot and tired so they went back to sit. Owen offered to get them champagne and right before he walked away Cristina pulled him close and gave him a deep kiss.

Leaning back in her chair, Cristina smiled. This wedding had turned out to be quite the success for all involved. Maybe weddings weren't so terrible after all. She scanned the room and couldn't help but notice all the happy faces but her heart stopped when her eyes met with a face across the room. Burke was sitting at a table across the room, his eyes had met hers and his face was set with an unreadable expression. She gulped and looked away. He was back…damn it. Damn it.


	29. Closure

**I know it has been ages since I've updated and I'm very sorry about that! I've just started a new job that takes up most of my time, but with this long weekend I decided to make good on a few promises I made to update this. It has become quite AU, but that's alright. I know it's short, but I hope to update again soon. Enjoy! :)**

**P.S. Please don't stress out about Teddy--she's got nothing on our girl! ;)**

* * *

Cristina quickly averted her eyes to catch her breath. She was in love with Owen, but that did not stem the shock of seeing Burke's face for the first time since he walked away, leaving her in a way-too-tight white dress. Then to her mix of relief and anxiety, Owen arrived with two bubbly glasses of champagne. Cristina took the glass Owen had extended and downed it in two large gulps.

"I didn't realize you were so thirsty. I'll get some water," Owen said. He started to turn and walk back to the bar when Cristina gripped his arm and forced him down into the chair next to her.

"Don't move" she said quietly, her breath speeding up. Owen looked alarmed and cupped her face.

"Something wrong? Feeling sick?"

"I'm fine—"

"I know fine, Cristina. You are not fine…you want some air?"

"Okay, fine. Air might be good…" Cristina stood up and Owen gripped her tightly around the waist while guiding her to the door. Owen swung the door open and Cristina dared one casual look back into the crowd to see Burke sitting with a resident she recognized from the hospital. He saw his head start to turn towards her so she turned and walked outside.

"Is this wedding thing bothering you?"

"You could say that," Cristina said quietly. Cristina had sat down on the bench and Owen was pacing lightly in front of her with his hands in his pockets.

"I just know that…the last wedding you were…at…didn't go so well. I was hoping to distract you from any pain that might be seeping in from being at another one." Cristina smiled despite the situation. She was hit with another wave of that emotion that came over her whenever Owen said something that made her feel protected and safe, even though she never asked for it.

"You are. I was having a good time, surprisingly…" Cristina started. "Then I saw Burke. Um…my ex-fiancé."

"Wait, he's _here_?" Owen barked. "He had the balls to show up _here_? Was he even invited?" Owen started towards the door back inside but Cristina pulled him down towards her on the bench. He took a deep breath and composed himself. "I'm sorry…but I know it must upset you to see him."

"I was…well, I was surprised. Shocked, really. But not _upset_."

"Oh…so you're not…I mean, how could you not be?" Owen asked.

"I'm not upset because…I've moved on. I have you." Cristina said, flicking a leaf that had just blown into his red hair. "Maybe if I was still moping around and wondering what I did wrong or…" she smirked "looking to scratch the itch, I might be angry and upset. But I'm happy, we're happy…" Cristina kissed him and he smiled. "I really only miss him as a teacher…" Owen nodded.

"Are you going to talk to him?" Cristina hung her head and sighed.

"I don't know…I don't really want to—" Cristina cut herself off when she heard a screech from inside the hall.

"What is he _doing_ here?!" Cristina recognized Meredith's voice and her and Owen jogged over to see Meredith and Derek setting world-record for fastest first married argument.

"I already told you I sent him an invite…I didn't think he would come. He _said_ he wasn't coming! I was his…I was going to be his best man and that whole thing was two years ago. I didn't think—"

"Yeah, you _didn't_ think, did you?" Meredith crossed her arms violently and turned away from him. "This is a wedding. _Our_. _Wedding_. Two things that are very hard for Cristina. This is hard enough for her as it is, let alone with that jackass sitting there staring at her. I know you two don't get along, but this is too much."

"I didn't do this to—" The argument continued and Cristina did derive a certain amount of pleasure from Meredith yelling at Derek on her behalf, but this was their wedding. And Burke wasn't worth the trouble.

"Mer, it's fine" Cristina said, turning the corner to face her.

"What? How can this be fine?" Meredith said, walking closer to her. "I'm sorry…I didn't know he would be here or…he wouldn't be."

"Seriously, I mean, I was surprised but…it doesn't matter. I'm…it just doesn't matter"

"Fine" Meredith said, her tone softening. "But that asshole is not getting any of our truffles!"

* * *

It had been a long evening and Cristina was ready to head back to her apartment or the hospital. She smiled at the memory of Owen's earlier promise to help her out of that bride's maid dress. Owen went to get his truck and Cristina ran to the bathroom before leaving when Burke stepped out from around the corner and stopped.

"Cristina," he acknowledged quietly.

"Burke," she nodded and walked around him on her way to the bathroom.

"Can I just say something to you before I leave?"

"You know …for quite a while I wished you had said something like that two years ago. Before you just picked up and left without telling me. But now, I honestly don't want to hear it. If you want to talk to me through the bathroom stall then go for it, but I'm not stopping for you." Burke sighed and watched her as she went into the bathroom. Cristina sighed out of relief until she heard his voice coming from just outside the bathroom.

"I just wanted to apologize. I know I hurt you. Please believe me when I say that was the last thing I wanted to do. I thought it was for the best. I'm sure you heard about the Harper Avery award. I wanted to acknowledge you, Cristina, I did. But what would I say? 'Dr. Burke wishes to thank his ex-girlfriend? Dr. Burke wishes to thank the intern that pushed him to work through his tremor?' I tried to make it work…or find a way to express how much you meant to me, but I couldn't. I wanted to call and tell you, but I thought it would just upset you to hear from me." Burke sighed again. "I just want you to know that I'm sorry for everything…and I hope you're happy now."

Cristina and went to wash her hands. After pulling a few paper towels to dry off, she walked outside past the door where Burke was standing and she paused. She took a deep breath and turned to look him in the eyes.

"Okay," she managed. Burke smiled and started to move towards her with his arms outstretched, but he stopped abruptly when she took a step back. "You've said your piece, but…no." Cristina shook her head. Burke gave a small nod and took a step backwards.

"Okay. Good seeing you…" he said, a sad smile forming on his lips. Cristina nodded and started walking towards the parking lot to find Owen.


End file.
